'make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you'

Once again, I've been having blogger's block.  I have plenty of things to say, but too many things to say, so that it would all mesh into one long crazy post.  So I settled for a huge blog redesign.  Basically, I wanted something simple again, whose html I didn't have to manipulate heavily.  The banner is of Emma Watson, from Vogue Italia.  I love her fashion sense, I love her normalness and her want of higher education.  Everything just looks a lot cleaner now... part of my bid to grow up... had to make my blog less little girl like.  Do you like it?  What do you think of it?  Leave me a comment!


For the most part, the weather has been lovely since I've been at home, although I'm reluctant to go out in the sun much, because my skin is awful at the moment and I don't want to do photo-related damage to it.  It's been lovely to come home and relax, and live a slower pace of life for a while.  London just gets a bit much sometimes, what with my living on a main road, with traffic pretty much all the time.  Its proximity to a major station, a major exhibition/concert venue and a football club does not help, and it was good to get away.  I've been giving this exercise lark a go... just trying to tone some of my muscles really.  I've been having a mostly vegetarian diet too.. there is so much fruit at home.  Meat isn't that big of a deal for my family, I think.  I mean, we have it but it's not a staple in every lunch or dinner like some people have.


Read some books, some good, some not so bad.  Whilst I have never seen a 'bad' film, or rather, a film which I have thought was not bad (how do those critics know what I will like, and not like?   They don't know me), books are not so good.  They are often hit and miss.  Finally read 'Reinventing Collapse', which really is a book that everyone should read.  I've attempted to read it about 4 or 5 times in the past, but because it requires a lot of thought and consideration, so this time I made notes.  Like lots of other readers, I've tried to avoid reading this book, mostly because I find it difficult to accept the thought that our standard of living will not always be like this. There will not always be shiny new toys and furniture and consoles and clothes.  I find it hard to accept that what I am doing is harming the environment and damaging the economy.  But the book's main conclusions are that basically, America needs to stop thinking it's the best at everything and stop damaging the world's economy (hey, I am just paraphrasing, not RE-phrasing.  Don't get mad at me for what someone else wrote) and that it can't maintain its lifestyle without thinking to the future.  For America, thinking about the future has come too late, it should have done so ages ago, and not think of Russia/Soviet Union - what do we call it now?  Russia and all the other countries??  Because the SU disbanded in 1991 or something?  (someone help me out?) - as the weaker and therefore lesser superpower.


It was a very thought provoking read.


I've worked in the shop too... There's a boy who comes in sometimes, and every single time he's seen me in the past, he's asked how my studying was going.  I think of him as a career crush, because he used to ask me about uni a LOT.  Now it's become a real crush, which is weird.  Being in a relationship, I am often blissfully unaware of affections from other people, not that I could distinguish them in the first place anyway.  It feels unsettling to have someone hit on me, again, not that I can remember what that is like!  It's sort of annoying how people judge by looks, but I suppose it forms a very important part of first impressions.  But at work, most of the time I'm leaning on the counter doing my difficult Chinese sudoku puzzles - the English paper ones are significantly easier, in comparison to the Chinese ones :/ - and eat a lot.  Or I read about what's going on in the news.


Really want to go and see Prince of Persia.  Except it will be gone from the cinemas by the time I get around to finding people to see it with.  My sister and mother are in the process of tidying up her stuff from uni - it's wanting me want to go back to my flat and tidy it up more, and give stuff to charity.  It's sad that charities are suffering, because of the current economical climate, and many charity shops are forced to close.  I just feel a need to declutter my life, i.e. my room.


I've had some very very weird dreams recently.  I had one a few days ago, most of which I still can vividly see in my mind.  I hope it does not bode negatively for the future.  It's not like I am making any particular effort to remember them: just flashes of them come back to me during the day sometimes.  It's very odd.  I shall write about this dream in a few days, depending how things turn out.


I have also achieved more 'things I want to do before I'm 30'!  Is it sad that that makes me happy?


I hope you have all been well!  I miss seeing my uni friends lots and lots.  There are several birthdays in June/July.  I am seriously considering doing nothing for my birthday.  It's too much effort inviting lots of people you know someplace, when it's your birthday and someone else should be putting in that effort for you so you can enjoy your birthday! (This is NOT a hint!... I said NOT)  I have lectures on my birthday so at least I will see people I know.  There are lots of little things that I want and shall justify their purchase by saying it's for my birthday.  P has been exceedingly thoughtful in the past and bought me several little presents for my birthday, and so that is what I shall do for myself!  It will be my first birthday away from my family though :(


Carol
xoxo