birthday!

It's my birthday!!!  Celebrated by going to lectures then Starbucks, and had a traditional lunch and am just waiting for my dinner.  But in all seriousness, I celebrated it last week with my friends, and last month with my family.  I(think)'ve got most of my presents.. spent a disproportionate amount of time looking for a dress yesterday.  I feel like my life needs to be more girly.. it doesn't feel like it is at the moment.

I feel like I have left my teens for real now.  When you're 21, you can still claim to be a teen.. I always associated being 21 with a "let's party!" age.  Now I'm properly in my 20's.  But being 21 was fun.  Some of the things that stood out for me this year: I helped to deliver a baby on my 21st birthday. I helped to deliver several babies, and got to be assistant surgeon.  I got mentioned in the acknowledgements in P's thesis. (I have an irrational worry of being forgotten when I am no longer alive.. so in some small way, I will be remembered).  I've achieved more of my goals to do before I'm 30. I got a BSc in Medical Sciences with Reproductive and Developmental Science. I read a book that changed my outlook on life.  I learnt significantly more about what will happen in the future. I had many many good times with my friends and family, and learnt who I could and couldn't trust, and who my real friends were.

Whilst I worry about getting old ( I have about £x of products I regularly use right now.  is that too much?), I'm excited about what this year is going to bring.  Age is just a number and all that matters is what you do with the time that you have.

5 years ago, I only had vague ideas and vague dreams about where my life was going.

Vitalise, 2005


(C) Carol, 2005

Now I know where I'm going :-)

short hair, home, 2010
(C) Carol, 2010

Carol
x o x o

PS. Some pictures from A's & my birthday meal. Credit R & A, 2010.

♥ this photo

I like the way this picture turned out :)

same old thing happens every night

Had a lovely birthday celebration with some friends on Tuesday: thankyou to A for 'co-hosting' it for me and for buying me an awesome gift.  I hope you like what I got for you.  I have no idea where my phone is, but the presents you got me are perfect =)  We went to Cote in Covent Garden (there's a hat on the "o", which indicates a missing letter.  Just like fenetre is derived from fenestra), which was really good: the food was lovely, it wasn't expensive, they were really nice for booking a table, but then the manager proceeded to use my name every time he spoke to me.  There was great chat, particularly between D and I, for many reasons.  We always have good chat. ♥


Lots of people were dressed really smartly and/or summery.. probably initiated by R wearing a waistcoat, and I initiating a pink theme.  I fit into both categories by wearing a pink dress from F21 that P bought for me from Texas, which was sort of smart.  The photos I have seen thusfar make me look questionable... I wish I could tan better (I used to be able to) so now I look really white.  Not to sound vain or anything but I used to believe I was vaguely and slightly photogenic.  Now I just feel like I look less photogenic and by extension, less pretty.  People have potential to look good, and I don't use mine.  Maybe it's just because my weight/image issues have been on my mind a lot more recently.


I love a good excuse to get dressed up.  It always takes me ages to get ready in the morning, not because I'm not a morning person but because I can never decide what to wear and I am always doing stuff.  I don't sit down to eat breakfast: I am either sorting notes out or my clothes, or tidying up or cleaning or using lotion or cream etc etc.  I dislike 18 hour days.


I also got so many lovely gifts - really really wasn't expecting it.  There was a group card going around the table "subtly" which had the best card design ever.  It was of Chinese/Russian hybrid dolls (makes me want mixed race children!)  Everyone also sung "happy birthday": embarrassed me but thankyou anyway.  I got lots of lovely things.  To reiterate what A said, presents are sometimes really hit and miss.  There are always generic girl gifts, like jewellery, or bath/beauty stuff, or candles, or vouchers.  But I like it when people put effort in or ask me what I want.  Whilst I do feel selfish for asking for things, I do accept that some people want me to actively like what they got me.


I am a bit of a girly girl, but there isn't a generic "go to" gift if you were in doubt.  I don't know.. I should probably stop talking about it now.  It's continued from my feeling sad on Sunday, and realising there are still a lot of things I need to do in order to become a fraction of the person I want to be.


But there was photo taking and birthday merriment, and many laughs and gossiping (standard between D and I) and fun ideas and recognition that my hair dye actually worked.  I dyed it "black cherry" and like last time, it shows up under bright light, and probably like last time, will last significantly past the 28 washes and will remain in my hair until it gets chopped off.  I ♥ my friends lots and lots: I love birthdays.  Not for the present receiving thing, but because it makes the celebrator happy.  There haven't been all that many birthday celebrations this year, not that I can remember.  (If there have, please forgive my massive oversight).


All in all, it was a lovely birthday celebration with A, hers late, mine early.  It served as an amazing substitute for not seeing my family on my birthday.  I could tolerate Easter without my family (I have done so already) and at a push, I could go without seeing my family for Christmas, but birthdays are a big thing for my family (well, relatively).  I've been with my family for every single one of my 21 birthdays, and this is the first one without them.  Seeing my friends was great.


I also rang my parents, and they told me about the first part of my birthday gift.  It was a lovely surprise, particularly because I got lots of things from my first birthday party.  It's probably the best gift ever.  ♥


Carol
xxoo


PS.  I think we need to have a dinner party upon P's return.  Looks like there will be months and months worth of good stories!  I have not edited the emails, only the names and some soppy romantic stuff that I am not comfortable sharing with the world.


PPS. Do the numbers and names of rifles etc mean anything?  Is it a boy thing?  Let me know!!! xxoo

Hey kitten :-)

Yay, glad to hear you had a nice day. What were you laughing about? 

I started off not liking Hawaii but it is picking up. My first impressions were that the natural environment is very beautiful, but the built environment is absolutely awful; the Americans are utterly incapable of putting a structure together in a functional or beautiful way. It's just one big long mass of parking lots, high-rise apartment buildings, car dealerships, MacDonalds drive throughs, and malls. After I've been here a few days, though, I found that the people in the hostel are really nice (except when they vomit on my rucksack .. ) and am getting into the laid-back vibe of the place.  (Actually, most people here are total stoners, whose only apparent obligation in life is to wake up in the morning.) 

On the first day I got myself oriented and explored the place; Waikiki beach is spectacularly beautiful, and I can see why it is the most famous beach in the world. On the second day, I spent the whole day at Pearl Harbour, visiting the USS Arizona, the USS Bowfin, and the USS Missouri museums. (One is a wreck of a ship the Japs sunk in Pearl Harbour, one is a submarine that killed lots of Japs in the Pacific, and one is the battleship on which the treaty ending WW2 was signed.) On the third day I went shopping (the first time since I left London) since I needed a few things: my headtorch broke, one pair of light pants ripped badly, and my camelbak started leaking, so I bought replacements for all those things.  And today I went diving off the south coast; we dived the wreck of the Sea Tiger, which was absolutely awesome. We got to do some wreck penetration, which I really love, and we saw white-tip sharks, a giant green turtle (twice as big as the ones in Japan), a spotted ray, a pod of about 100 dolphins, loads of eels, ... it was great. So tomorrow I signed up to go diving again, this time on the wreck of the YO-257, a Navy refuelling vessel that was sunk a few years back. Hopefully it will be awesome.

As for the medium-term plans, on Sunday I am going shooting with an NRA instructor; there are loads of rifle ranges on the main strip that cater for tourists, where you can fire off a few rounds from some famous rifles, but they are phenomenally expensive and the ranges are tiny. Instead, I got in touch with the local rifle clubs and they hooked me up with this fellow.  Apparently all I have to pay for is the ammunition I use, which is sweet. He said he has a Winchester M1914 and an M1 Garand, so I'm really looking forward to it. After that I might go parasailing or hiking around .. we'll see.  I'll spend maybe 10 days here in total before moving on to another island.

I hope my beautiful kitten is keeping well and not missing me too much.  And yes, you can thieve my heat when I get back :-)

All my love, for years and years of laughter and joy

P

----------------- 

My dearest kitten,

Yesterday I went shooting! I was picked up by an NRA instructor with all of his rifles and we drove out to the range. I had never been somewhere where high-calibre rifles were being fired continuously .. but I soon got used to it. We spent 5 hours there and the time just flew; I barely noticed it ticking away. We started off with the .22 semi-automatic, and I fired a few hundred rounds in that. He was amazed that after about an hour with the rifle I was putting every round in the black at 50 yards. Then we moved on, first to a 7.62x39 SKS, then to a .30-06 M1 Garand, and finally a .30-06 Winchester M1917. I currently have a bruise the size of my fist on my right shoulder .. the .30-06 rifles are fecking cannons. I was really pleased with my shooting: after a few rounds with the Garand, I was hitting a 2ft x 2ft steel plate at 200 yards 8 times out of 8 with iron sights (not a scope)! He even started asking me if I was lying about my previous experience, hehe.  I really enjoy shooting; I think I will try to keep it up properly when I get back home.

I will be home soon, because I know that kittens cannot fend for themselves for very long. I love you more than I can say .. I can't wait to hold you again. I am so grateful that you bring such joy to my life :-)

All my love, for years and years

P

further consolidation that reindeer are real

50% done with Pathology.. sort of scary how quick it has gone!!!  Had many fun 'laugh until I cry moments' this week - I love my friends.  Today, I was telling I about places to go and visit, and she didn't know where many of them were, and A went, "you can go to Iceland and see Father Christmas and his reindeer and ride in his his sled!"  She insisted that someone had told her this in all seriousness, and this then sparked off a whole long conversation interspersed with much laughter, about Lapland, Iceland, poor knowledge of geography, Father Christmas and where he lives (if he's real.. which he isn't), my finding out that reindeer are actually real (only found out 2 years ago) and clinics in the Antarctic.  Hehe.   ♥  As you can tell, a lot of the conversations we have are very random and probably nonsensical to people not participating in said conversation, but it provides much needed light hearted relief.  And it's nice to know I don't have the monopoly on the ditzy prize.


Apparently, reindeer ARE real.  I have never seen one in real life, so this may just be a conspiracy.  They weren't there that time I went to London Zoo.

In other news, P is in Hawaii, doing touristy stuff and some adventure sports.  It will be a miracle if he stays within his 'holiday' allocated budget.  I spent some time yesterday looking for a hair color dye to change to and, after a lot of deliberation, found one.  Other than that, I have a big sleep deficiency.. only sleeping 6 hours a night (compared to my past 8 or 9 hours) :/  And I have too much to do to pay off the sleep debt :(

Hope you are all well!

Carol

xo


PS. There's a make up range which makes a moisturiser I had about 5 years ago, and never been able to find it since.  Now I know the answer - I must go to Italy to buy it..?!?!!!!!!

not worth the aftermath, after that....

For those of you not in the know, I started class on Monday.  It was lovely to see everyone and to catch up.  Lectures are a little bit intense, what with much detail and long hours.  It is very sunny and I would dearly love to be outside in the sunshine, but I get back and I am so drained.  I've been sleeping really badly, after 12.30 every night, because of work and domestic type issues.  I have many bruises :(  I must just kick myself in my sleep.  Uncool.

Trying to dress all summery but the heat is not fun.  Trying to avoid using the tube where possible.  I walk to college every day and back or try to.  This whole week has sort of blurred into one, but there have been some very good moments.


I love learning things about my friends, so we had a very vague game of truth or dare, which I quite like in alcohol form, with more truth and less dare.  D and I had a very good reminisce of my most embarrassing memory.  it made me cry with laughter.  I don't believe anyone who says they've never had an embarrassing memory.  There are a lot of things in the past that I am not wildly proud of, but I'd share them if I felt it appropriate and if someone asked me. Then we shared our worst received presents.  I hate hate hate getting photo frames.  I don't get photos printed out in real life much any more and I have no room to put them!  I hate getting cheap candles; I've done lots of internet searching for good quality candles, to buy for myself and to give as gifts.  Candles have a very unique niche in gift giving.  They can either say "look I made some effort but this is still a generic gift" or it can have meaning.  I love candles I buy for myself, it's a very personal thing.  I dislike receiving bath sets, like with body lotion and shower gel.  Hello, are you trying to say I smell?  I can buy my own lotion and shower gel.  I want gifts with meaning!


As a side note, I do actually feel really selfish asking people for stuff for my birthday.  I make a wishlist every once in a while, but then go through phases of wanting them but they disappear.  Thus, the wishlist is small and the things on it are things I would buy for myself anyway.  But I like getting gifts.  Maybe it's in my spoilt nature... -_-


Buying gifts for girls is a lot easier than for boys.  For girls (in general, not me specifically), you can get clothes, gift vouchers, perfume, jewellery, food, girly stuff.  Except I would hate any of these unless I'd asked for them!  Boys are very hard to buy for.


I still can't decide whether I want to celebrate my birthday with my friends or not this year :/


Then we talked about whether or not we were physically disciplined as children.  My parents never ever smacked me.  Sure, I got told off, but I know my parents never hit me.  I believe there are better ways of showing your children that what they are doing is wrong.  Maybe it's the younger sibling thing.... I suppose I get away with more too.


I have missed the banter between my friends and I.  Granted, a lot of the time, I am being made fun of, but hey... after all, someone has to be the ditzy one!


Carol
xo

'make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you'

Once again, I've been having blogger's block.  I have plenty of things to say, but too many things to say, so that it would all mesh into one long crazy post.  So I settled for a huge blog redesign.  Basically, I wanted something simple again, whose html I didn't have to manipulate heavily.  The banner is of Emma Watson, from Vogue Italia.  I love her fashion sense, I love her normalness and her want of higher education.  Everything just looks a lot cleaner now... part of my bid to grow up... had to make my blog less little girl like.  Do you like it?  What do you think of it?  Leave me a comment!


For the most part, the weather has been lovely since I've been at home, although I'm reluctant to go out in the sun much, because my skin is awful at the moment and I don't want to do photo-related damage to it.  It's been lovely to come home and relax, and live a slower pace of life for a while.  London just gets a bit much sometimes, what with my living on a main road, with traffic pretty much all the time.  Its proximity to a major station, a major exhibition/concert venue and a football club does not help, and it was good to get away.  I've been giving this exercise lark a go... just trying to tone some of my muscles really.  I've been having a mostly vegetarian diet too.. there is so much fruit at home.  Meat isn't that big of a deal for my family, I think.  I mean, we have it but it's not a staple in every lunch or dinner like some people have.


Read some books, some good, some not so bad.  Whilst I have never seen a 'bad' film, or rather, a film which I have thought was not bad (how do those critics know what I will like, and not like?   They don't know me), books are not so good.  They are often hit and miss.  Finally read 'Reinventing Collapse', which really is a book that everyone should read.  I've attempted to read it about 4 or 5 times in the past, but because it requires a lot of thought and consideration, so this time I made notes.  Like lots of other readers, I've tried to avoid reading this book, mostly because I find it difficult to accept the thought that our standard of living will not always be like this. There will not always be shiny new toys and furniture and consoles and clothes.  I find it hard to accept that what I am doing is harming the environment and damaging the economy.  But the book's main conclusions are that basically, America needs to stop thinking it's the best at everything and stop damaging the world's economy (hey, I am just paraphrasing, not RE-phrasing.  Don't get mad at me for what someone else wrote) and that it can't maintain its lifestyle without thinking to the future.  For America, thinking about the future has come too late, it should have done so ages ago, and not think of Russia/Soviet Union - what do we call it now?  Russia and all the other countries??  Because the SU disbanded in 1991 or something?  (someone help me out?) - as the weaker and therefore lesser superpower.


It was a very thought provoking read.


I've worked in the shop too... There's a boy who comes in sometimes, and every single time he's seen me in the past, he's asked how my studying was going.  I think of him as a career crush, because he used to ask me about uni a LOT.  Now it's become a real crush, which is weird.  Being in a relationship, I am often blissfully unaware of affections from other people, not that I could distinguish them in the first place anyway.  It feels unsettling to have someone hit on me, again, not that I can remember what that is like!  It's sort of annoying how people judge by looks, but I suppose it forms a very important part of first impressions.  But at work, most of the time I'm leaning on the counter doing my difficult Chinese sudoku puzzles - the English paper ones are significantly easier, in comparison to the Chinese ones :/ - and eat a lot.  Or I read about what's going on in the news.


Really want to go and see Prince of Persia.  Except it will be gone from the cinemas by the time I get around to finding people to see it with.  My sister and mother are in the process of tidying up her stuff from uni - it's wanting me want to go back to my flat and tidy it up more, and give stuff to charity.  It's sad that charities are suffering, because of the current economical climate, and many charity shops are forced to close.  I just feel a need to declutter my life, i.e. my room.


I've had some very very weird dreams recently.  I had one a few days ago, most of which I still can vividly see in my mind.  I hope it does not bode negatively for the future.  It's not like I am making any particular effort to remember them: just flashes of them come back to me during the day sometimes.  It's very odd.  I shall write about this dream in a few days, depending how things turn out.


I have also achieved more 'things I want to do before I'm 30'!  Is it sad that that makes me happy?


I hope you have all been well!  I miss seeing my uni friends lots and lots.  There are several birthdays in June/July.  I am seriously considering doing nothing for my birthday.  It's too much effort inviting lots of people you know someplace, when it's your birthday and someone else should be putting in that effort for you so you can enjoy your birthday! (This is NOT a hint!... I said NOT)  I have lectures on my birthday so at least I will see people I know.  There are lots of little things that I want and shall justify their purchase by saying it's for my birthday.  P has been exceedingly thoughtful in the past and bought me several little presents for my birthday, and so that is what I shall do for myself!  It will be my first birthday away from my family though :(


Carol
xoxo

today is a winding road

4th year is over!!!  Can't believe I've made it 4 years through university!!!  My presentation was a bit :S but I am glad that it is over!  Currently trying to watch the latest Gossip Girl via the internet; it was the season finale yesterday.  Bought some books :) and some Muji candles so I can have some relaxing evenings in.. they'd be lovely for the summer.  I've been trying hard to find a lovely scented candle, so I thought I'd try some Muji ones.  I love Muji & their kooky Japanese sense of style.

Looking forward to the rest of this week... vague plans to see friends etc, nothing concrete.  Home on Saturday !

Gotten myself out of my sad rut, with the help of my friends.  Almost felt like crying when A asked me how I was getting on without P :'(  In truth, I've been finding it more difficult than I realised, and more than I like to let on.  I've been to Hyde Park, and walked quite long distances... for me.  I'm not a good person for walking.. If I walk too far I get really achey feet and a sore lower back and need to sit down.  I think I just can't stand up for long periods of time... I'm getting old....!! But it was lovely!  There was much good chat and much photo taking.  At the weekend, we went in search of some of the elephants on the parade (I'd read about it on TimeOut last week) around Hyde Park.  I'm not really one for visiting touristy areas, and a lot of them are in touristy places.... so I guess I'll just wait for the RCH exhibition :D

I've been a pretty rubbish friend these past few months.  I've not bought several people their birthday presents.  So I spent a couple of hours last night trying to decide what to get for one person, eventually changing my original gift idea, and now I think I have a good idea.  One person down... like 3 to go.  Speaking of birthdays, I'm excited for mine.  It's sort of bittersweet, as it's the first one I'll have spent without my family... but I'll have all my friends to celebrate with me :)  In lieu of a boyfriend present, I'll also do his job and buy myself lots of little gifts.  I felt kinda guilty last year because he got me lots, and I've not bought him a gift for ages :(  But he told me it was okay.. because he had and has everything he wanted, materially and emotionally.  I think his long term goal and desires involve getting as many experiences as he can, or 'collecting' them.... That's why he's off farming, skydiving, diving, paragliding, parachuting, jumping... whatever it is (?)  And he knows I'm still materialistic.

Anyway.  Several posts coming soon! Hope you're all well xoxo

thanks for the memories...

People have often said that I remember lots of things... as in, memory wise.  I don't do it consciously, but I know I connect memories with things and people, songs and places, books and objects.  I don't remember when that moment is when you and someone become friends... it sort of happened by osmosis for me a lot of the times.  But if you ask me, I would probably remember when we first met.  So these are my memories of my best friends (university), and my favorite pictures of me with them.


I would say that my very best friend is the boy I am going out with: in my first year at university, I found it very hard to keep in touch with a lot of people I had met, but we always stayed in touch and had such fun conversations when we did talk.  We probably only spoke about 10-20 times over the whole year, and yet I always considered him one of my best friends.  The first time I met P was in the common room, in halls.  It was a Thursday, during Freshers week, and there were cocktails being made up.  That was when I first discovered Blue Curacao: I loooove it.  One of my most favourite memories of P is being in the Brook Green Hotel, where one of the staff (from abroad someplace) asked if he was on a diet, and I said yes, he doesn't eat wheat, but she was actually saying "date".

L: Captain Picard & Sailor Mars.... R: at the Royal Albert Hall

My best female friend is I, because I love her lots.  She has been very supportive and we have a similar work ethic, and similar tastes in music and books.  I don't remember the day when we met though, although I know it was very very early on in first year.  She was part of the so-called "commuters club", people who lived at home and had a long way to travel to get into uni, and so was one of the first ones there.  We have always been friends, even though I didn't talk to her that much early on in first year, and third year made it difficult to see people.  One of the best memories I have of I is pretty much our second year :)

Pizza Express: Fulham Broadway.  She's on the right

My best guy friends I all met in first year.  We used to have tutorials for PBL and PCC and the other thing, and I had a PBL session in the library, although I didn't know where the room was.  It was my first session and I was there a little early so I went to the concourse to see if there was anyone I could ask.  A was there, listening to some music very loud, (Buddha Bar) and he told me he had PCC.  A has been a very good friend to me, and whilst I might complain about certain aspects of his personality, (haha) I know he is a good person and that he would do anything for people he cares for.  Hm... a memory.  One of my most favourite memories of A was Rag Week in first year, when we did Circle Line :)

Sofra, Covent Garden, 2008

There was a CD of notes going around first year, probably due to me, as I went to a social once, and someone gave me a CD of notes for the first two years.  I was in a lecture, and I was going to give the CD to someone to copy, but she had a tutorial to go to.  M then said he would copy it, as he had free time after the lecture with nothing scheduled for an hour or something.  Again, M has been a very good friend to me, particularly during the end of first year, and I hope I have been as understanding and patient when he was going through emotional troubles.  My favorite memory of M... his online affair.  :D  Totally hilarious.

R's couch, 2008

In the summer term of first year, about a month before exams, we had this random Respiratory Science lecture, about respiratory alkalosis/acidosis and its metabolic equivalents.  We then had this problem sheet, so a group of us went to a tutorial room to work it out.  The first time I met R, we argued over metabolic acidosis/respiratory acidosis +/- compensation, because we each thought we were right, although I think we both got it wrong in the end.  I wasn't ever close to R in first or second year much.  We were only friends in that we had mutual friends, and I didn't think we were close enough for me to give him a Christmas present in 2nd year (the only time I've done it) (sorry R!) I looked at my dream tag, and he seems to have featured in several.. because we talk a lot and I consider him to be one of my best friends now.  He's very intelligent.  My favourite memory of R.... Probably gossip sinking/sharing at the corner after Podmedics/MedEd :)

Queens Lawn, summer 2008

I first met A in third year, outside a lecture theatre in H, which has since been knocked down.  We had a feedback lecture, and she was there waiting outside, as the door was locked.  I didn't really speak to her very much at all, and it's only been during Repro that we've become good friends.  I really like her: she is incredibly reliable and patient and can hold her own.  I really admire her :)  The best memory I have of A was the last day of term before Christmas (2009) when we were in the lecture theatre at lunch, (there were a few of us) chatting and laughing and trying to watch movie trailers on the computer.

I'm in the middle; she's on my left (Christmas 2009)

And my last best friend.  I first met D... I don't actually know... first year.  We used to talk on MSN, because I emailed about 100 people asking them if they wanted the CD notes, and he replied, and we talked on MSN.  I consider D one of my very good friends, even though our friendship is on pause a lot of the time, due to various schedule conflicts, but it's still there, just the same as it ever was.  And my favourite memory... "say owt mancunian-like?!"

 Sofra, 2008

Bet I can remember when I met most of my friends :D




ALL THESE IMAGES ARE MY OWN; PLEASE DON'T USE WITHOUT CREDITING ME

twenty-one

21!!

Feel so old! I got a ring from my parents, some money (amount = unknown), a perfume bottle, two handbags, and I will be getting a phone sometime this summer. My friends got me some Swarovski earrings, a Hello Kitty toy, and a phone charm, and some M&S earrings. P got me a Body Shop spray, three dresses from Forever 21 and a Hello Kitty toy from the Sanrio store. So thankyou if you contributed to any of my gifts. I got messages on facebook and texts :)

I'll put some pictures up later on. They're on my phone.

Had a half day at the hospital, where I saw a baby boy being born! Had lots of food and cake and the like :) Had a half day today as well... well, I say half day. I finished at 10.40 as the rest of the list were locals, and so didn't need any anaesthetic input. A new Lidl opened up near where we live. Was very unimpressed. I do not like Lidl.

Last day of my anaesthesia elective tomorrow! It's gone by super fast, but I can say that in hindsight, I guess. At the time, it felt like, urgh 2 more weeks etc. I'll write more about what I thought of it at the weekend when it's all finished.

Had a weird dream this morning! I was sat around this table in a dark room, it was very badly lit, and there were many people around this table, mostly people I know. And it was a trial for a murder of someone, and I knew it was the little kid because he had burn marks on his right arm. I don't remember much else, but I was in a locker room, getting my stuff, and I saw one of the defendant party (guilty) who had ginger hair, who looked a cross between my friend (or old friend, as I have not talked to him for ages) F and I apologised to him for knowing the kid was the murderer. Weird.

xo

gift excitement

Yesterday was my pre-emptive birthday party.. my birthday is placed during an annoying month.. July. I mean, don't get me wrong: it's lovely with the weather and the time off and such, but it's hard to organise stuff... doing it in June means that lots of my uni friends are busy or gone away/home, and my home friends don't get to join in, and during July is when pretty much everyone is away on holiday, or they're working or doing something else.


So I won't bore you with the details, it was lovely, thankyou to everyone who turned up. And thanks to those who actually let me know that they weren't going to come too.


This is what I got :D




















xo


Images: my own

Milan + Benihana

On Thursday, P and I flew out to Milan. Due to TfL, the traffic was crazy and it took us ages to get to Victoria. Gatwick Duty Free did NOT have Burberry Baby Touch, much to my disappointment :( The hotel we stayed at was on the Corso Buenos Aires, which is apparently the longest street of shops in Europe. I can well believe it. We went to look at the Duomo, the fourth biggest church in the world, by night.

The Duomo, (literally, "dome"), is beautiful by night, as there are lights around it, to illuminate all the windows, and you can see just how much effort went into building it. It took five centuries to complete, and apparently it is still not finished: there are stone blocks inside still waiting to be carved.


Everyone had these huge white balloons, and after asking around, H&M were giving them out. But they were just plain white, no advertising. So P bought one off a man for five euro, but it popped halfway back to the hotel.

Friday, P bought some clothes from H&M, and I bought two tops from Pimkie. We visited the Pincacoteca di Brera. There was a room dedicated to the Marriage of the Virgin, by Raphael, explaining how it was painted, and how it was restored. It also focussed on different aspects of the painting, such as the perfect geometric lines of the steps in the background, and the detail of the clothes.

There was also a Caravaggio, who is one of P's favorite painters, the Supper at Emaus. After tripping down steps, we went to the Natural Science Museum, inside the Porta Venezia Gardens.


On Saturday, we went to the Castello Sforzesco, where there are four museums. All Milanese museums are sooo cheap. They're like 2 euro entry, and the Castello museums were 1.5 euro to get into all of them. That's like 25p a museum! Anyway. They had Egyptian art, Prehistoric art and history, a Michelangelo sculpture, the Rodanini Pieta, whose creation is quite interesting.. it was originally going to be something else, and if you look at it closely, you can see Michelangelo's attempts to try and change what he had already sculpted.


Then we went to an Archaelogical Museum, which was housed on the ruins of an old Roman villa. It was interesting, but I was really tired at this point. :(


Sunday we went to climb the Duomo, to get onto the roof. There's a sign when you go into the church.. you can't be dressed inappropriately. So I had to put my jumper on. There are boxes all over asking for donations, as apparently it costs 12 million euro to upkeep the church a year. There was a service going on at the same time - it'd be weird going to church and having tourists milling around watching you. It's truly beautiful inside... there are so many statues and painted windows.


There is also a small red bulb in one of the windows, which marks the place where one of the nails from Christ's Cruxificion is placed. Look at this photo - we weren't allowed to take pictures inside the church.


The roof was.. scary. I hate heights, and had trouble going up to the higher part of it. Especially as there was a spirally staircase :( So I had to sit down for, like, 10 minutes...

...whilst he took photos of the view, and of the statue at the top, the Virgin Mary.


We ate loads and walked lots. Malpensa Airport sells Ferrero Rocher Nutella.. and sadly I didn't get any. I should have :( P looked for a plug socket so he could write some more of his thesis while I read Pride and Prejudice, but ended up playing Warcraft...




I rushed from the airport to get to the train to Victoria, to get on the tube to get to Piccadilly, for A's birthday, at Benihana. Everyone looked really well dressed, and I felt scruffy in comparison, as I'd just come off a flight in jeans and a t shirt (which was new). It's quite cool: the chefs cook the food in front of you. J and M both caught a prawn in their mouths, thrown by the chef. A caught it the second time. M ate lots of wasabi: I have a video somewhere. The food was soo nice, and the cake at the end was massive, and even nicer :)





I want a cake for my birthday... except I don't, as it'd be embarrassing, with everyone looking. And my birthday's not for another month yet. And due to all the food I've eaten in Italy and at Benihana, I'm trying to eat less now. I've come back with extra weight :( So went swimming this morning, and will endeavour to do so for the next few weeks.


I hope people remember to come!




xo

.. dolly :)

F, M and I were watching videos on youtube the other day, and F put some Korean music videos up... I know some, because my cousin loves them and occasionally I see that she's posted one on her facebook or her twitter, and a youtube channel that I have subscribed to uses some Korean music... Is this the new "in" thing now? To like music, of a foreign culture and possibly in a foreign language? I've noticed recently that a lot of people I know are into K-pop, J-pop, C-pop... random letter-pop. I'm not really complaining, merely... making an observation.


We also learnt how to do the "L, O, V, E, love" part of a song called Insomnia, which is a cover of a Craig David song. Oh, how I will miss F when she goes away :( She shepherds random SAF frequenters and brings them/mocks together.

So anyway, she put on this song, called Gee by SNSD... it's very addictive and the choreography is awesome: they're all such good dancers. So M downloaded it, and now I am the owner of an illegally downloaded song on the phone..

whose speakerphone I have broken *sobs* I can make calls and hear people when they call me, but I can't play music, my phone doesn't make any sound so it's pretty much on its silent setting, and I can't put people onto speakerphone when I am talking to them. I got kinda worried, and then texted my sister to tell her to let my parents know (as I am a coward and don't like being shouted at by my parents) that my phone wasn't making much/any sound, and I got a reply saying that they were OK with it, and that I can get a new phone for my birthday.

Which solves the problem of what I want from my parents for my birthday; they've been asking me for a few months now, and I haven't really known. I mean, I WANT a new phone, but it isn't something that is essential. And my laptop is fine now that I have gotten rid of Windows, to the more friendly interface of Linux Ubuntu (it's all pink and purple and girly... what more did you expect of me?)

P has also bought me several of the things on my Birthday Wishlist... (a few posts ago) He got me the vanilla spray from The Body Shop, and three dresses from Forever 21, which is an awesome store, when he went to Texas (they're all gorgeous). And I am fairly sure I will be receiving a new baby in the not too distant future - yes, I call my Sanrio brand plush toys my babies... as they're like little babies.. - and I am getting a phone from my parents. And Burberry Baby Touch (alco free) doesn't seem to be sold anywhere apart from possibly the Burberry store - I haven't checked yet actually - and Luton Aiport duty free (how I love duty free!) So it seems that I shall be getting that for myself when I go to M with P. (Except we might be flying from Gatwick... in which case, I will make a special trip to Knightsbridge, the place where foot traffic is worse than the road traffic in order to buy this perfume).

Organising stuff is such hassle nowadays, with people:

a) who say they're going to come to an event but then don't show.. at all

b) don't reply and then turn up, and are all like, "but you knew I was going to come!"

c) don't ever reply, even though you have given them lots of advance notice

d) who don't check their facebook/email around once a week... that's how stuff gets organised
e) bitch and whine and complain about how they didn't get invited...

But I did it.. with help from P, and so I have a very early birthday dinner planned before I go away to Milan. There is also a possible trip to Thorpe Park in the pipeline, and to be honest, I think it's a bit silly for people not to want to go because they "don't like rides".... it's for the spending time with friends just as much as the rides, and yes, you might not want to spend £20 just to hang out with your friends... but it'll be fun. I don't like rides either, but it's to feel the fear and do it anyway, except for scary rides.

AND a paintballing trip, and possibly ice skating. And some film seeing, and theatre watching.


And I desperately need to further update my wardrobe. I need some clothes and shoes and a bag... And some jeans. I've been putting off so much until after the exams, which have now finished :D ... cleaning my flat and P's.. sorting out stuff for my holiday, figuring out what there is to do in Milan, figuring out my elective timetables, looking for birthday presents, film watching, lots of food eating.... lots of reading and park frolicking...and shopping, visits to repay...


I'm going to see Britney on Saturdayyyyyy!!! Everyone's been saying how she'll be rubbish and she'll mime and it'll be crap. I don't care.. I'm the one who paid for it. No one forced me to go. I don't fucking whine about how some other artist someone is going to see will be crap do I??????


In other news, P has a book, with one of his abstracts in it, to add to his very long and shiny CV.. I find I am more tolerant of people if I don't think about how much they annoy me normally... I felt really guilty tonight for not doing any work, then I realised my exam was over. Watched the Borat film: it was funny, but flat in some places. Had two dinners, as we went to My Old Dutch but no one wanted a dessert so I felt greedy, and didn't have one like I wanted... so went home and had a second one. I'm going to be so fat :( So much for trying to lose weight :(






xo

please read and take note

I removed this post - my birthday wishlist from 2009 because I got most of the things from it, or variants thereof. Thankyou lovely people! xx

:O

Forever 21 has pretty clothes, kinda A&F/H&M-esque, but doesn't cost that much. But it costs loads to ship to the UK. I've spent half an hour trying to see if I can buy a dress off eBay or google. Sad I know but I want it. No such luck.

:(

*uses google*

Oh. It's £40 including shipping. Hm. Can't buy the damn thing anything as my card is xenophobic.

Ah well. FINALLY, I sense my birthday wishlist finally forming!!

Also.. I love this song: I like this singer's voice :) Don't listen if you don't like it: it's a pop song from a few years back.

she'll make you order fresh champagne

Had a thought yesterday that I am actually very ditzy.


On Sunday, M, P and I were in Caffe Nero, where we went to wrap R's birthday gifts, and I was asking him about praying and Patrick was like, where's Mecca? And I said, how does the compass know how to point to Mecca? (I mean, I do actually know that compasses point north, and you have to do some calculations in order to work out where Mecca is, from where you are in the world).


Went to Sainsbury's yesterday to buy pastries, and put them in the fridge. I only brought my pure over, usually I bring my bag. So it made sense to carry my purse back home in the Sainsbury's bag. Except my purse went in the fridge too. And I only realised like three hours later, upon opening the fridge.


Oh dear.


--


Dear sun,


Hello, it's so good to see you! Finally! It's great to see that you are indeed still shining, that's awesome, I don't need to tote my umbrella around so much anymore. Bonus, my back won't ache so much. But could you refrain from shining on days where you KNOW I have long work hours. It's just way too tempting :( You are very lovely, keep on shining. Our world depends on it. I mean that literally.


love,
someone who likes the sun


--


Dear Boys Like Girls,


Please can you come back to England and do a tour? I sooo wanted to go last time you were here, but I was doing an on-call, and in retrospect, wouldn't have missed it for anything - it was so fun, but I adore your music. My blog is named after one of your song lyrics :) It's a song that never fails to cheer me up :D So.. you know, October/November would be cool! Oh, good luck with the new album!


love,
a dedicated fan


PS. Please don't sue me because I've used your lyrics around my blog.


--


Dear X,


I had a very philo moment today, and it made me concerned that I still can't work out what our friendship means to me. I can't explain why you make me feel very.. confused, and you don't realise it.
Things happen, it's part of the learning experience. But I thought we were good friends, and I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch better :( We're both busy people, but it's nice to chat once in a while. But not of the "hey what are you up to? not much, you?" small talk variety; let's get past that. I don't even think you read this thing anyway, so the chances are I'll just keep feeling like this every so often and you'll never know. And I can't think of the words to say to you in person to tell you about this. I'm so lame :(


from your friend Carol


--


Dear Whole Foods Market,


Your store on High Street Ken is awesome, I love it, you have lots of free cheese everytime I go there. Everything looks so yummy and the baskets are cool. But why is your stuff so expensive? :( Organic does not mean expensive. American does not mean expensive. In light of the current "credit crunch", please would you reduce your prices, so that my boyfriend can buy us food for a nice dinner in, and not have a panic attack when he sees the price of the bill.


from,
a concerned shopper


--


Dear sugar,


Increase your prices by epic amounts. It's one of the few ways that we are going to stop this obesity epidemic. Keep it in the countries that need it the most. The Western world is way too fat, and it's immoral and disgusting. Sugar is nice yes, but it isn't necessary. Obesity is a disease and it's going to be a huge problem very soon, even more so than it is now. How are we going to treat a nation of fat people who are too lazy to go out and walk, who are too lazy to walk to the end of the aisle in the supermarket to look for the healthier options? It makes me feel ill thinking about it,


love, a potential doctor in the making

i wish you could feel, that my love is real

Hey guys. Sorry it's been a while since an update, or it feels like it. I feel like I am running on borrowed time, as I'm always tired, and I get a lie in, like once a week :( And so I get musculoskeletal pain, which I think is linked to my sleeping pattern and the way I sleep. Anyway.

It was R's birthday celebration yesterday in Covent Garden. Thankfully, he liked his presents.. we got him a toy helicopter (he's meant to work out he needs to get his own batteries), a Hugo Boss wallet that I quite liked, two bottles of Jack Daniels sauce that they do in TGI Friday's, a bottle of JD, and some M&M's. I think the group thought is now just to collectively collaborate on present buying, and leave the responsiblity to someone else. So it fell to M and I. I hate hassling people for money, but it's a necessary evil. They give you £10, and they feel like they have in some way contributed more than money, and you have money to spend on shiny things. I wonder what happens when my turn comes around? Anyway. We went on to Yates' where some things happened that I noticed and thought badly of, and P impressed (?) us with his dancing and rapping. I'm too old to go out on Sunday nights and wake up at 7 the next day. Yates' on Sundays isn't as good as Fridays, as there were loads of chavs and leeches there :S

I think some of my friends react badly in certain situations, and tend to dwell on the negative feeling. But to get hurt is the only way to learn I suppose. I want to say something but then I feel like I am interfering with their emotional maturation process. People need to work out why they feel like they do, and how to react to it. But I don't approve of going off to get a drink in order to cope with the situation, or if a certain person is there. I might have got the situation totally wrong, but I wouldn't have expected it.

It was a gorgeous day on Saturday; had final year teaching and an EMQ session, and then went to a cafe just on Earls Court Road, which was yummy :) Had an apple crumble and some baguette. Then we walked up to Holland Park, to the Kyoto Garden. There were some freak Japanese kids wearing freak cosplay clothes and taking pictures of each other, portraying scenes from a book. It was VERY odd.  Then we climbed around the waterfall, to sit at the top :)

I love that it's so sunny, but it's ever so slightly annoying when you have to stay inside :(

her lips are devil red and her skin's the color of mocha