So with great enthusiasm, I watched the Royal Wedding; had made plans to watch it at a friend's house but it fell through and so just ended up watching it at my boyfriend's house, streaming it on the BBC and/or youtube. Me and a couple of other friends who have twitter were tweeting during the ceremony - there were so many people doing a live commentary! The hashtag, if you care, is #royalwedding . It goes without saying that I loved it immensely!!!
Been sort of... down recently for many reasons. I guess it's the study getting to me. I wish I could cope better, and that I believed in my (small) ability better. It's just.. too many things and I sort of withdraw and shut down if I feel down about too many things. It lead to me writing the post which I published just before this one, then removed it. The first paragraph is the same though.
Met one of my friends from school last week - he had an interview with Accenture, who gave me free stuff once for winning a prize (long story), so I approve. Basically, I have had conflicting views about viewing our friendship in the past and have acted with my heart rather than my head on multiple occasions. Suffice to say that I am now glad that we are mature adults who have coffee together in Paul. (I love Paul. I always say "I love Paul" when we talk about that store - guaranteed). Hopefully it will not be several years before we speak again!
This Live Below the Line thing is incredibly hard. I have relied on donated food A LOT and not included it in my budget. I realise this is not within the rules, but I intend to do the five days. Just not all at once, maybe one day at a time. The reason for this is because of social occasion, and my circumstance. I am a small BBC/V girl, with a fast metabolism. It gets a bit scary sometimes and almost GP appointment worthy. My boyfriend and I were talking about fasting - he can fast for 4 days without food (just water and some disgusting olive oil/liquid thing mix) and I can fast for 22 hours. I tried it once during BSc revision time, just for fun really. I went 22 hours without food, and suffered psychosomatic symptoms of blacking out and fuzzy vision. I know I know they are psychosomatic symptoms and it's because I can't handle the idea of not eating food for a long period of time. Apparently, the way I view hunger is basically out of proportion to my situation and if I calm down, then I can go longer without food. I wouldn't like to, and I thank my lucky stars every single day that my parents came to this country. (The story of how they ended up here is quite long too, and not for public reading). I thank my lucky stars every day that I live in a society where I can live with freedom and have the choice to eat a varied diet. I am incredibly thankful - a massive sequence of events had to happen so that I can live this way (not in a societal way, in my parents' timeline).
Anyway, I am rambling. I can't go without food for more than 24 hours. Believe me, I have tried. More than once. It's desperately unhealthy, but I like (weirdly) to set myself challenges to push myself. The not eating thing was one of them. The weird eating habits was one of them. The decision to stay up for over 30 hours on three separate occasions in 10 days was my choice - I wanted to prove to myself that I could pull an "all nighter" and not suffer badly.
So I am doing the Live Below the Line challenge, but slowly and my own way. But I am doing it!! I have spoken to some people about it actually and I think they're just unwilling to break out of their comfort zone and think about the cost of food they eat.
I anchor values quite a lot - this is obviously evident when you ask me how much I spend on food, or what is a "good salary" and a "bad salary", and what is an "expensive house". My ideas about money and price are distorted because of my anchoring - it is what I have known and what I have seen. But it has shown me what money can do to people, and just how important it can be, and how unimportant it can be. A lot of my attitudes towards buying things has come from my upbringing - I do not regret it at all and I have never been able to properly explain what I mean by my attitudes towards money. As with most of my procedural memory, I cannot explain what I mean......
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