two books that changed my life

Three summers ago, I went to a bookshop, in search of reading material.  There was a 3 for 2 deal on, and I'd chosen two books, and I saw "The God Delusion" on the shelves.  I had heard of it, and so bought it to see what the fuss was about.  The first time I read it, it took me a long time, because I didn't understand a lot of the concepts, or I wouldn't let myself understand them (I'm not sure which).  I saw it more of a discourse, rather than a life changing book, and I know that we have the right to free speech here, and I saw it as a written extension of that.  I don't like rocking the waters and inviting controversy into my life.

from google images

And yet, moving to university, especially one that focusses heavily on science and technology, I began to understand that people who are scientists come to slowly understand how the world works, and understand that there is no Divine Intervention.  My relgious beliefs were aleady sitting uneasily with me, yet I was reluctant to let go.  I knew I didn't believe in the majority of it, but I was reluctant to believe that there is nothing in this world that makes it feasible for there to be no Higher Being.


And so, reading this book again, I found one of the key concepts very interesting and taking about a week to read it (I used to read slow), I slowly came to the realisation that I had already let go of religion, but I was clinging more to its ideal.  And this is why I consider this book to be instrumental in my life (life changing, you'd say).


I don't want to offend anyone religious or who is a follower of any religion.  I respect their beliefs, and I feel that people should be allowed to believe and feel what they want.  People may think that it's wrong and false, but I hope that I have never acted in a way that made anyone think that I actively extol the advantage of being atheist, and if I have done so, I am sorry: I did it without knowing the impact of my actions.


There is one other book that changed who I am, and I will remember it for the very very rest of my life.  It's called "A Million Little Pieces" and is a book I initially found very hard to understand, and I think I have written about it here before.

from google images

Every single time I read it, it makes me cry several times.  It is the harsh experience of a drug addict going through rehab, and it is truly harrowing and haunting.  It challenged my prejudices, and helped me to understand more.  Because of this book, I now respect my body in the sense that I don't give it medication.  It taught me the importance of taking chances that come to you, and further soldified the idea that we should not regret. (again, something I have repeated often) But the opening story (I forget all the details) describe someone who has broken something into "a million little pieces" and he asks someone to help him fix it, but he says no, it's broken beyond repair, it's "a million little pieces".  It's truly moving.


More so than any book, I feel like this one has really changed me.  I actually bought this book on Valentine's Day (I confess the real reason is because I saw it in the shop and it glittered, as if there were a million stars on it) and started to read it.  I found the style quite different, and didn't read it again for a few months.  I don't regret that.  I read it at a particularly emotionally challenging time in my life and I feel like it helped me to put things into perspective.