the last post of april!

Had a lovely evening... had my first ever lie in during the week that was past 8.30 :)  Worked on my write up and ate lots of Cheerio's.  Then I went to Westfield to see Iron Man 2... the screen was massive, like IMAX style.


I am a person of paradoxes sometimes.  I dislike it when people are late, yet sometimes cannot help but be late myself.  Anyway, when I go to the cinema with my friends we always go in during the adverts due to people's lateness or buying of food or whatever (which always takes fricking ages).  The film itself was awesome.  There was lots of action (and anyone who knows me knows I am not such a fan of action and suspense...!) but it was good.  The storyline was very clever, and had its moments of dry wit and humour.  The acceleration to make the new elements was done extremely cleverly.  Having just watched Angels & Demons, the particle acceleration in Iron Man 2 was very fascinating to see.  I loved it.  I shall definitely be acquiring this film!


Then we went to Pizza Express... had some good chat and laughs and talking, it was lovely.  I like seeing my friends and having fun times.


The ending of the evening was rubbish because I felt really sick when I was waiting for the Overground.  I had JUST missed one so had to wait nearly 25mins for the next one - in theory, I could have touched out and gotten another form of transport but I didn't want to waste money.  It was raining and I had two ladders in my stockings/hold ups, and I felt sick.  Maybe it was the food I ate...?


But I dislike the rain.  Everything looks so gloomy :(


This blog posting month has been difficult.  It's shown me that
a) my life is boring :'(
b) I have a very unorganised mind
c) I ramble a lot


But now this is the last post.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my random posts!

I think I might just end up buying my own birthday presents.  I know what I want, and I feel more and more like I can ask for what I want from people less and less.  I know what will make me happy more than anyone (except maybe the boy) and usually if I want something I get it.  The things I want aren't that costly, but they'll make me happy :)


xoxo
Carol

while your heart beats with mine it's true

I haven't written a "me" post in ages, as in, about my life or whatever.  I've been busy living it up in the library, or in SAF or in the Wellcome Library or getting dirty and dusty amongst the archives.  Now it's getting all summery in London too :)  All pretty and warm.  Except taking the tube when it's warm = error.  It feels horrible and sticky and I feel dirty :(  I hate being that close to strangers, just for the sake of travel.  And yet, I need to use the underground to get to places I want to go to.  And what's worse is, during the height of summer, I'll be in London too, experiencing this necessary evil.


I had a low point a few days ago, where I really really really missed P.  I get home quite late very often now, so I don't have nothing to do in the evenings.. just have dinner, watch a film in bed whilst catching up on emails/news then sleep.  But.. I'm not sure how long it'll be okay.  I feel like a part of me is missing - which is such a cliche - like I'm not shining as brightly as I could.


For the past three weeks, I've been waking up at 6am for no reason.  I live on the main road, so it's safe to say there is always some level of noise around all the time on the roads, so I don't think it's that.  It doesn't matter when I wake up, or when I go to bed.  I always wake up around 6am :/  It's annoying in that I wake up, but nice in that I know I have a couple hours more sleep :)


Did you know... according to the wikitravel article, you're not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts or short pants or skirts in the Vatican?  Is this true?  I watched Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code recently, and whilst I have visited Paris and seen all the main sights - I even took a photo of La Jocunde when it was illegal to do so! - I have never been to Rome or the Vatican and I'd love to go.  Milan was lovely, and they had a similar thing in the Duomo, where you couldn't show cleavage or your shoulders - luckily in the sweltering heat, I had the irrational foresight to bring a jumper.  But the Vatican would be lovely: there is just so much history there, and who better to go with than someone who knows lots about Roman and Catholic history?


What else is new?  I also want to go to Nice.  And I want a Lolita dress.  And I might dye my hair this weekend - I shall see how I feel and if I can be bothered.  Enough time has passed for me to have forgotten the experience.  Everytime I do it, I think "never again!" for several reasons.  The colour doesn't take all that well sometimes, the smell of the dye is disgusting and sometimes people can't even tell?!


Oh I had a dream where I dream-cheated on P!!!  :(  I forget the majority of the dream - oh yeah, I've not been writing about my dreams as they've not been post-worthy - but I was standing in a circle with my friend F and some random people I didn't know and we were going to play a game and so I took F's hand and the one of the guy next to me.  Then he asked me something and had his head leaning towards me then I was going to say something but then he kissed me!  What is wrong with me?


Saying that, I started laughing during OSCE tutoring yesterday... hehe.  Bad Carol :(






Anyway.  I hope you are all well :)


xo


Also, is it really selfish to post up a list of things I really want in gift form?

er.. misquote

Currently, all the silly things I say are usually to do with geography.  Never having needed to study a map of the world, I didn't know where many countries were.  Now, I'd like to think I am less blonde..... ¬_¬ but that's probably not all that true.


Here are a select few of the very many silly things I have said.....


"Do snails have teeth?!" (Hey, I didn't know, OK?  It sounded silly at the time, but Wikipedia says that snails have microscopic teeth!)


"Remember when Jelly Babies used to be a cartoon?" (I swear it used to be..?? Or there used to be adverts with cartoon Jelly babies?)


"Purple is like pink, but grown up"


"It's like scoring a goal when the other team are having a tea break"


"Say owt mancunian-like"


"Are reindeers REAL?!" (There's an amusing backstory to this... I saw D drawing a picture of a reindeer and Santa on Microsoft Paint a couple of years ago.  I always thought that they weren't real, in the same way that Santa is a legend for children and it's perpetuated as part of the Christmas spirit.  So after lots of laughter and incredulous... ness, I find out that they're real!  But I've never seen one in real life, not even in the London Zoo.. so I am still a bit dubious)


"Arms are like body legs"


"Carol, just being awake makes you sleepy" (well... said to me)


"Are eggs dairy?"

i can feel your love but there's one thing i can't do

i wish that i could press rewind somehow

but she's got a boyfriend now....

via deviantArt

courage teach me to be shy

I always thought that someone's music taste can tell you a lot about them.  There are so many categories of music, and sometimes personalities or fashions are associated with them.  I've been through the "insane amounts of smudged eyeliner and distressed hair and wearing black clothes and jelly bracelets" phase, I'm over it.  It wasn't pretty.


So what does my music taste say about me?  My taste is varied, yet not "everything": I've always believed people who say they like "everything" are lying, as everyone has their pet hate, and the music out there is so diverse that I don't think it is possible to like everything.  I like Boys Like Girls and My Chemical Romance.  I like Britney and Maroon 5.


I hope by my posting youtube videos sometimes here lets you see what sort of stuff I like.  Obviously there are bands I really like, and mention a lot, but I guess that's kinda standard for most people.  I don't really like listening to musical artists who are similar to stuff I like already.  I like listening to new stuff, contrary to popular belief.


But these two songs are unique in that they are among the only songs that I like by these artists.  They both give me chills, and remind me of memories in my past that make me remember.  I wouldn't say they make me happy... just... reminiscent.

A Lack of Color: Death Cab For Cutie

Cannonball: Damien Rice

(I also might possibly love the two songs by Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber.  Two artists that I am not that huge a fan of, but they come together and somehow make two songs that I like.  Hey, don't judge me.  Justin Bieber appeals to the pop music loving part of me!)

medical school

For those of you that care, I applied for Medicine for entry straight after sixth form.  It never occurred to me to take a gap year.  I applied to Oxford, Manchester, Leeds and the one where I am now.  The foremost was upon recommendation of my school; they told me I had a better chance of getting into Oxbridge if it were itno the prefix, rather than the suffix.  Anyway, I got rejected, in that order, and my current uni's interview was last.  Prior to applying through UCAS, I went to Medsim, a practical version of Medlink, where we had the option of sitting an entrance exam for the First Faculty of Medicine at Charles University, in Prague.  It was multiple choice, focussing on Biology, Chemistry and Physics.  All my friends did it, so I did too, for a laugh.  Needless to say, I did NOT know most of the stuff (and still didn't by the end of A2) so I guessed around 60% of the answers, using a combination of elimination or sheer "which answer have I not used for a while?" (I am totally serious!)


The exams got marked overnight, and the next day there was the list of names of people who were given an "interview" and therefore a place.  I was near the end (like, 23rd of 25 people who were interviewed).  I got a place, and didn't need to consider it until my very last interview via UCAS.


Everything worked out and I am now here.


A few months ago, I met a girl via a workshop, and kept in touch with her because I saw her potential, but she wasn't using it, because I think she didn't know she had more potential.  I met her just that once: I mock interviewed her as part of a panel for about 10 minutes, and we've kept in email touch.  She's been rejected from all her medicine applications, which I am both angry about and upset about, and I think her two back up options (not sure).  I feel so bad for her, because I can't tell her what to do (she has a few options of where to proceed from here) but I don't want her to not do medicine.


I'll feel like I've failed her if I don't help her get into medicine.  I've never seen someone so determined (er, other than myself..) and I can't believe she hasn't gotten a place thusfar.  And it made me think of me, four years ago exactly, when I was worried about not having a plan after A2 exams.  She really deserves it as well: she had a strong application and strong grades.


It just made me think about when I was applying.  I never really realised just how difficult it was.  I mean, I knew there was competition but I naively thought that everyone would get a place somewhere.  It was only until I got three rejections that it hit me that I might not get to see my dream realised.


I really want this girl to be a medic, more than anyone I've helped with this in the past.  She's obviously academically able, as her predicted grades are stellar, and she's got lots of extracurricular stuff going on and she seems genuinely lovely.


I really hope she gets there.

when i was prince charming and you were cinderella beautiful

The more that time passes, the more I appreciate weekends.  Particularly this past week.  It has been a long week, visiting Senate House, getting dirty looks for wearing I clothing... sitting for hours without food or water.. writing in a little notebook.  I love Russell Square.  I have decided it's one of my most favourite places in London.  There's an archway where blossom trees are growing over it, and in the summer it will look gorgeous with the flowy floating blossom petals.  There is something just so English about blossom trees.


Had a lovely evening tonight: went bowling with some friends, then sat in Starbucks until we got kicked out then went to Nando's... it is lovely to have conversation which doesn't revolve around study.


Only got a week more of national blog posting month... good, 'cause I'm kinda running out of ideas.

we're not going on a summer holiday....

....as I have class starting in July!


Many people have been travelling, either in the summer holidays or in their gap years or generally.  In my summers, I've not been travelling.  I've been working and relaxing and seeing friends and writing.  And sort of now, I wish I had taken some time to go and travel around and see other cultures.


I've been to Europe, but that's all.  Hey, I have to expand my horizons slowly!  I'd love to visit some of the European cities for holiday breaks.  What I love about summer is the way it makes me feel... happy, young and lively.  People are generally more happy when they're getting their doses of Vitamin D :)

my brain knows better, it picks you up

I sort of feel like my blog is getting boring because I've decided to do this national blog posting month thing.  If you're reading this, you're either a) an interested follower or b) bored or c) trying to click "next blog" as quick as you can (any combination of the above).  It's hard posting every day!  To be honest, I do use my computer every day, to check my email, if only to read but not reply.  I have a serious back log of emails to catch up on.  So when I have a little more time, like when I'm catching up on my youtube subscriptions at night or when I'm watching Gossip Girl, I try to make them interesting.  Which is why most of them have involved pictures.....


Had a crazy week thusfar.  Been travelling all across London (well, I say, across.  I mean across zone 1).  I went to the Senate House Library today.  Since /I/ left the University of London, it's had little impact on students' daily lives.  All the difference it made was pretty much the gown you wear at graduation.  We can't vote in ULL elections, or enter their buildings as easily, but otherwise....  Anyway, it's near Russell Square, a place in London I really love.  It always looks so pretty, like an area of peace surrounded by busy London.  Have had late night tutoring (~6 or 7) so now I can feel a backlog of sleep that is needed.  Just went for a shower and am kinda worried my torso looks a bit skeletal.


P has been away nearly 2 weeks.. I'm still eating, my room is still not a mess (ish...), I'm not THAT lonely...  Going to see Iron Man next week, and see friends this Friday... some exams at /I/ have been postponed due to the Iceland volcano incident.  The Rector sent us all an email yesterday saying that if you're stranded, you can postpone your exams, if your department hasn't rescheduled already.


Fully caught up on Gossip Girl, er... delaying the start of doing my write up (it just seems SO DAUNTING)... I'm reading Handle With Care at the moment.  Kinda hoping it won't make it cry, but I can sense that it might do.  Also scaredy-cat that I am, I won't read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol at night (when I do my reading).. I need someone there if I'm reading even a vaguely scary book.


Being busy is good.  Yet very tiring.

holiday daydreaming

Let's go to Nice....

and laze on the beach....

and eat French food....

and buy pretty clothes

xo


(images are all findable via googleimages)

we have a night to get away

found via deviantArt

baby are you down like the economy?

"That mysterious independent variable of political calculation, Public Opinion"

www.voteforpolicies.co.uk


Because of the upcoming elections, and I have to confess the influence of P, I am slightly more interested in politics.  Do the quiz above: it requires thoughr.  I did it, and I am mostly Green Party.  It is interesting for people to look at the policies, rather than just the party they vote for.  I don't feel any affiliation for any party.  My parents always vote Conservative, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I should.  I feel really strongly about the future environmental conditions of the world, and that's what most important to me.  I want a Government that will actually make huge steps to recycle, reuse, have less waste, do something about nuclear power in a positive way and also be happy.  Alternative energies MUST be explored NOW and in a real way.


www.politicalcompass.org


This requires less thought, but there is no "neither agree or disagree".  Some of the issues, like "astrology can accurately predict things" are easy to answer, and the questions on sex and private lives are easy.  I feel "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree" about some subjects, but some less so.  Every time I have done it (I have done it on three occasions now, each a few months apart), I am of the same political persuasion as Nelson Mandela.  So whilst some people might not agree with my putting "strongly agree and strongly disagree" with some issues, at least I am in the company of a great man.

"there cannot be two chosen ones!!"

In a very Da Vinci Code-esque dream, I dreamt that I saw the "chosen one", the one descended from Jesus' bloodline.  I was at dinner, in a dimly lit room with some friends and a family, made of a mother (whose surname began with a K, and was not of English origin), two sons and a daughter.


At the start of dinner, I wasn't aware that this family were there, and I was talking to my friends, the one next to me was wearing black.  And then I became aware the family was sitting on my table (round table).. and then I was reading this press release thing saying that the "chosen one" had been found.  Somehow, and for reasons I do not understand, I made the connection that one of the sons of this family (the older in fact.. he was wearing a blue t shirt) was the chosen one, and it was something to do with there being a new Da Vinci Code film out. (my dreams are odd!)  There was this prophecy on this press release, which the blue t shirt boy fulfilled, which I don't remember.


So I asked him, "are you the chosen one?" and he said yes, but the younger son, who looked about 10 got really angry and said he wanted to be the chosen one as well.  Then he ran off, but there was this dinner attendant who had fainted or similar, and the chosen one's mother was looking after him.  The fainted man knew something about the chosen one and what they have to do, so that's why Ms K was trying to revive him.  He was really thin, and you could see many of his arteries and veins. :/


After failing to find the younger son, I told Ms K that I'd tried to tell her telepathically that her son had run off, but that he was NOT the chosen one, but that the one with the blue t shirt was, but that I didn't know her first name (which she then told me was Helena) and that I didn't know how to use my telepathic powers.  Then the attendant man woke up, and he had some sort of... telepathic power thing where he made the room lights change to blue, which he couldn't control.  It seemed as if he couldn't control it, and Helena and I were there trying to shake him out of it, and I told him "there CANNOT be two Chosen Ones, only one!"

via google images

---


I know there must be someone out there who is descended from Jesus' bloodline, or is somehow related.  We are all related to each other in some way or another, via the Mitochondrial Eves and Y-chromosomal Adams.  So it makes sense that there are people today who are related to notable historical figures.


As for my dream chosen one, he was thin, blonde, a few years younger than I.  And his surname began with a K, he was the oldest son, and he had no father figure in his life.

fashion

(It's back up for you, A!)


To quote Kayla, "Fashion fades, style is eternal".


I don't care that I'm wearing last season's coat (Topshop Autumn/Winter 09 collection).  I don't care that I don't have skinny jeans, or Ugg boots.  Fashion is just what some people think is in, but there doesn't ever really seen to be an agreed consensus over what's in when.


Fashion bothers me sometimes.  Haute couture is soo crazy, sometimes it's very costly and expensive, and some stuff would never be caught on my body.  It can be an expression of art, but I'm not sure that many people would wear a lot of it.


But surely... style is more important.  It's important to find your own style, and sometimes experiment.  But not too much.  I think that everyone has their own sense of style: they just need to find it.


Obviously, speaking as a girl, fashion is more important to me than it might be to some people e.g. guys.  But I mean.. a lot of people I know might not care about fashion, but theyalways turn up presentable and pretty looking :)

one of things i like about lebanon

Basil Soda = love




images from the Basil Soda website

sleepy...zz

Because I'm doing this national blog posting month thing, my posts are getting less about my daily routine.  So thought I'd do one. Just typing up some of my notes that I've been collecting.  Now I am sleepy :(  Got OSCE tutoring at 6, but I'm hungry.  And I need a nap.


Been feeling sort of low since P left too.  Helped out at the mock PACEs on Saturday, and watched the rest of the Gossip Girl episodes that I'd down... acquired.  Now I'm fully up to date.  Been reading A Woman's World by Baroness Summerskill, and A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, the latter of which I read before bed, and thus learn about physics or geology or. you know... a lot of that knowledge I once possessed, like how to do the Michelson-Morley experiment and how to get Avogadro's number and wave-particle duality.  It's like a whistle stop tour of my physics A Level.


I miss Physics A Level.  We had a good class, and I understood elements of it.  And I always got that satisfying feeling when you put numbers into some huge equation and you get the right answer without looking at the answer or asking someone.  But when something transcends normality, like minute particles that exist for milliseconds or even shorter, you know, or I know, I'd get confused.  Because, inevitably, crazy amounts of maths would be involved.  I used to love the prose bit of Physics... the maths bit, not so much.  All those numbers and reliance on my calculator... :/


What else... I've got P's light clock (which I actually bought) which is a clock that is meant to beat seasonal affective disorder or something.  It mimicks the sunset and sunrise, and so gets brighter 30 mins before the alarm is meant to go off, and you can set it so that it gets darker and darker over 30 mins, which is meant to help you sleep.  I mostly use it as a lamp.


I've been saying this for a loooong time but I really want to dye my hair.  Now I know that it can work properly (sort of) but I hate the smell of it and doing it myself, and making sure the roots AND the ends are covered equally.  P went to get a haircut before he left.  Toni and Guy was £40.  This random place near college was £46.  £46??????????????????  WHY?!  I can get it done for free, courtesy of my mother.  £46 is extortionate.  To be honest, hairdresser prices are mostly extortionate.  But because of my anchoring, I think I think every price is going to cost a lot.  Especially because I have "long hair" so it costs the most.

the Pumpkin Ale king

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1930647


a tribute to the Irish.... haha

10 things that make me happy

friends

Seriously, I think that without my friends or my boyfriend, I'd probably go crazy.  Everyone needs friends, and the best friendships involve mocking each other and having fun times :)  I guess friendships change over time, depending on how much you see each other and keep in contact.  I read a quote somewhere that if you find five people during your lifetime that you can truly call your friends, it's fine to leave this world into the next.  I thought I'd made three of these at school (naively) but time changes all things and now I know better.  I would love to believe that I will leave university with some true friends... not just people who I can have a good time with, but that I can trust and confide in.

googleimages

sunshine

Everything looks sooo much better in the sunshine :)  You have that summery feeling, and everyone's happier.  And it's a good excuse to wear a summery wardrobe (except, mine is perenially summery, and I just add a jumper (possibly not of my ownership) to make it winter-wearable).  But everyone's happier, there's more ice cream available and I don't need to carry my umbrella as often.  And Vitamin D production... it's healthy too!  Although wear some SPF!

pretty dresses

I had a boyish haircut when I was a child, until I was about 12 or 13, and I dressed in boyish clothes.  I didn't think I was a girly girl at all: I hardly ever wore skirts (except for school where it was mandatory) and I had very few pink clothes.  How times have changed... now I have many pink clothes and things, and I am more of a girly girl, in that I care about fashion and beauty and make-up and clothes and gossip... I dress in a more girly way, and thus pretty dresses make me happy.  They make me feel pretty, and they are also themselves pretty :)

French things

This probably stems from my learning French for so long.  I started learning French when I was 9, and I kept it up until I was 18.  I loved it.. the language was so delicate and feminine, and so different from English.  It was also very expressive and dainty.  During my French studies, I learnt about French energy policies, their attitudes towards racism, politics, their health policies and health system, their medicines, their lifestyle, their schooling system.  It was all so fascinating to me, and I feel sad I don't have time to dedicate to learning more French.  I learnt better didactically, not so much on my own.  Classes at university are at very inconvenient times, and it's very expensive to get a tutor.  Their food is also that more glamorous than English food, their clothes are stylish.  I know I could never go to live in France alone; it seems daunting and with my ever-diminishing grasp of the language, it seems less likely this will ever happen.

Glamour

Yeah, yeah, I had to get one super girly thing in there.  I love reading Glamour.  It's a monthly magazine, it makes me happy, I pick up (some) fashion tips by reading this.  I was never a big follower of fashion, in the sense that I wouldn't wear padded shoulders if they were in.  I wouldn't wear grey if it was in (I don't even think I own any grey clothing).  Partly because I am lazy and partly because a lot of those looks don't work for me, and I have a boy-like figure (kinda).  But I like the way that the fashion pages pull some looks together.  Obviously I don't get it for the hard hitting articles, but hey, everyone needs a candy read.

foot massages

My feet are little and delicate, and if I walk for hours and hours in one go, they ache.  Foot massages are great!  I get knots in the heel and arches of my feet really often, so it feels good to work them out.

good memories

People say I have a good memory, for random things.  Like I remember when I met most people I know well.  I remember silly little things from my relationship.  I remember things people said.  When I'm alone, and feeling a little/lot down, I think about good times I've had, and it makes me smile.

hot water bottle

A year-round necessity.  It might be because I'm always cold.  The heat always lasts ages and it's lovely :)




my bed
Before you all have dirty thoughts, I love my bed at uni because it's entirely of my own design (minus the frame and mattress).  When I moved into the place I live in now, it was the first thing that I made up.  It is my comfort place.  It is one of my two indulgences.  I have five pillows (two temporarily for 6 months), and three duvets.  One duvet goes under the fitted sheet, and two on top.  (Hey.  I'm always I get cold!

good books

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." - Joseph Addison
Need I say more?  I think not.

google!

When you go to google, you can type in pretty much anything, and pages come up.  Sometimes, they're totally unrelated to the thing you want to look for.  This MUST be how these people ended up on my blog.....

"stereotypes of anorexics"

Hm... I have talked about both separately before, but not in the same sentence.  The way I feel about anorexia is sort of complex, and whilst I am not anorexic, I wholeheartedly sympathise.. I know what it's like to worry about weight and so on.

"brown's claridges tea"

Ah yes, if only posh afternoon tea could be taken in a restaurant.... ¬_¬

"locate catholic church nearby orient house, imperial wharf"

There isn't one nearby.... and I have no idea how this sentence lead to my blog.  I even googlesearched it.  It didn't come up.

"men protective instinct"

Uh.... Firstly, this is a girly blog, but yes I agree.  Men do have a protective instinct.


"lesbains kissing and touching videos"
Nope, no misspelt lesbians here.  I honestly have no idea how google finds my blog with these very very odd searches.  I genuinely don't!


"music i feel so free toninght philsophy"
Again, another misspelt thing.  Unless google KNOWS that I like to dance to music in the evenings, I'm going to put this down to an anomaly...?

i complain a lot... don't i?

I dislike how major holidays have become huge money-spinning ideas for companies.  Now I know I have many many Easter eggs, but the more I think about it, the more it is just for the chocolate, not what it represents.  Shops push Easter stuff as soon as Valentine's Day is over.  Then it's barbecue time.  Then it's Christmas.  Then it's Valentine's Day.  Since when did these days become about what you buy?


To me, it's not about what you can buy for someone for a holiday or celebrated day.  You get toys for every occasion, and chocolates and drinks and trinkets and all sorts.  Since when did you need earrings with little Christmas trees, or things saying "I love you" on that you'll appreciate for about five minutes and then discard?


I just wish.... we focussed more on what's important: love and friendship.  Christmas and Easter are religious festivals, which have been turned into profit earners for companies who just want money.  Now I feel like a lot of people now just think of Christmas and Easter as receiving presents.  It saddens me.  I don't feel like I need to get people Christmas gifts.  They have my love to appreciate.

every day away

Finished the second season of Gossip Girl.  I was desperate to find out what happened at the end so I watched many episodes yesterday.  And thus had a Gossip Girl (and also Lindt bunny involving) related dream... :/


Term starts again on Monday: kinda glad as I want to keep really busy whilst P is away.  I also really need to tidy up.  But two people's possessions in a room designed for one person is sort of making my room look awful.


Going to Asadal tonight... looking forward to it :)

busy bees

P's last day in London = much sorting out....


hiking boots trying on and buying
money belt...
work shirts...
international adapter
sandals
socks
new phone....
returning keys to landlord
getting a haircut


I'm kinda run off my feet now :S

the special one returns

Back in London... it's so sunny and lovely :)  My flat is grossly untidy due to P moving his stuff here, and my return... I feel like I am living in squalor, although it is tidy squalor.  Do you guys ever get the feeling that you can't focus on something when your room is tidy?  I've heard that people use tidying as a distraction from revision, but honestly, I just like being tidy.  I quite like going through my things and reminiscing about their sentimental value, or throwing it out if I don't need it, and rearranging it so my place looks more tidy.


Am I weird?  Or just conforming to my gender role?


I have to say I take a certain pleasure when my hard work pays off, and my room looks really tidy, and is using maximum space efficiency.




xo

you know you love me....

Totally hooked on Gossip Girl.  Watched the whole first season this past few days: secretly rooting for Chuck, who seems to be the underdog character :)




xoxo

how long til the music drowns you out

I greatly dislike people who don't bother.  As in, they say they're my friend but then they do nothing about it.  So then, what's the point of being my friend?  People who think they're too good to hang around with someone, and forsake them in favour of a boyfriend or girlfriend.  And then turns around and denies he/she has a girl/boyfriend.  What's the point?  I wouldn't be bothered normally, except when you fail to admit it for over a year....


Seriously, if I ever become one of those girls who does everything with her boyfriend, and doesn't see her friends anymore, TELL ME.  I don't ever want to become like that, and forsake my friendships.


On another note... how many Easter eggs do you think it is socially acceptable to have?  Happy Easter :)




xo

posh English men = hot

aka.... Hugh Dancy = hot


There's something about posh English men, or posh anything (but generally English... come on, IS there such thing as a posh American accent?  Hello?  No.)


It's the way they dress, and the way they speak.  Real English men (as in, those natively born here with family reaching back generations and generations).  You know how some girls adore foreign accents?  Well, I happen to adore the English one.  (As well as French.  But I'll do a post on French things another day).  English men who:

• know things about things, thus can hold their own in most conversations
• open the door for you, and pull out your chair for you
• are willing to hold a girly umbrella over the both of you
• have good manners and at least offer to pay
• can wear pink comfortably, and still look hot
• look reallllly good in suits, and not in a sloppy way

And more specifically, I mean Hugh Dancy.  HOT in the Burberry campaign (Fall 2004, and 04/05)  I think it's safe to say that these pictures sum it allll up.  (Boys, take note!)

all images via google images


xo

life update

Not much has been happening of late.  I have a boring life.


- back home for Easter.  The night before I left, P and his friend had a leaving party.  It was good, but I started crying after an hour (seriously uncool), so I left.  Silly Carol.  But it's lovely being home again.  Home comforts and such :D
- been ill recently :(
- sleeping and eating lots.. eating sugar again (sort of)
- reading a couple of Bill Bryson's books.. Neither Here Nor There, not as good as I remember, and A Walk in the Woods
- trying to download acquire tv shows and films to watch.. I forsee much show watching to come, without a boyfriend around to hang out with
- bought some new shoes :)
- there was snow yesterday!! (or was it the day before?)










xo

NaBloPoMo #1

I've been meaning to do this for a while actually, if we use the word "a while" very loosely.  I saw Tia do it on Clever Girl Goes Blog (her blog was featured on blogger aaaaages ago).  Basically, it's an attempt to write a blog post every day for one month.  As April only has 30 days, I thought it would be easier (by one day) and inflict people with my rambles a bit less.


The theme is "big"... although, I might not stick to the theme often.


So.... the word itself.  I am afraid of being big, as in size wise.  I always had it drummed into me to eat enough food for my daily activities (i.e. sleeping) otherwise I'd get ill easily.  I think that this is partly the reason why I am so afraid of putting weight on.  Sometimes I go through phrases of being okay with my weight, and others not so much.


As silly as it sounds, I compare myself to other people, and I know what my natural body weight is/should be.  I know we're meant to put on weight during our lives (~1lb a year, according to the Framingham Study) and I'm still in line with this normal weight gain.  I just don't want to gain any unnecessary weight for no reason.  I feel unhealthy when I weigh more than I normally do (think of it like an inbuilt thermostat/centre of knowledge) and I know that sometimes when I feel tired, I am drawn towards processed sugar containing foods, like chocolate, for an instant energy boost.  And that's bad.


Because there's so much media influence, I am reluctant to admit that I am susceptible to the media.  I do think I could be thinner.  People like me often sometimes have a distorted image of themselves (body dysmorphic disorder?) and they don't realise their actual size.  So maybe I don't realise my size either.  I try to dress in a way that doesn't accentuate my body shape (and thus it's probably no wonder I think there's no skinny jeans that'd fit me out there!) so people aren't bothered by it.


I mean, I dislike it when people tell me what to do with my body, like they know what's better for me than I do.  It's all very well for someone to say, "eat more", but they don't know why I feel like this.  To be honest, half the time, neither do I.  I'm scared of becoming fat, scared of reaching the next stone in weight.


Apparently, I look healthier with more weight on (as in, 1/2 more kilos)... people who've not seen me in a while say this to me sometimes.  I don't want to be curvy.  I don't want to be built.  That's not my style.  It wouldn't fit how I look.


Ooh-er... this is what it says on wiki!

The DSM-MD defines body dysmorphic disorder as a preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance which causes clinically-significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. However, BDD may involve an actual defect that's slight, but the sufferer constantly obsesses over it. The individual's symptoms must not be better accounted for by another disorder; for example weight concern is usually more accurately attributed to an eating disorder.

That doesn't sound fun, does it?


PS.  Not much going on in my life.  Not feeling all that well :'(