old endings and new beginnings

Last night.. or more this morning, I had a dream where I was walking around my old school.  I still remember where most things are, but in my dream, I couldn't find my classroom.  I'd forgotten where it was, and there didn't seem to be anyone I could ask.  There was some sort of parade going on, with balloons and that confetti looking stuff and general joyous festivity, and everyone I saw was walking in an opposite direction to myself.  They were in the same year and, like myself, they were wearing white blouses and black skirts.  Which must have meant it was some formal event.  So eventually, I got to the end of a very long corridor, and there was an escalator going upwards, so I joined it, except it became too steep for me to stay on, and I fell off it.  I kept trying, but I kept falling off the escalator, and after about 10 tries, I finally got to the top.  There was some kid's party there, with clowns and balloons and party bags, and the general very bright colours you find at a child's party.  I couldn't find what I wanted here, but I couldn't find the way down. :/


Distressing.


I got my hair cut - it's now the shortest it's been for about 5 or 6 years; it feels good to have the oldest part of my hair cut off, but now it's gained annoying points for being even more unstyle-able.  Grr...  At least it's got 6 or 7 months to grow now!  It looks rank at the moment, but maybe I will add some pictures when it's looking more healthy.  I want to dye it again, but I don't have anywhere to do it.  Has anyone got a bathroom they would let me use?  The bathrooms for my flat are not IN my flat, it's at the end of the hall (they get cleaned every single day) but I can't be running through the corridor with hair dye in my hair and trying to wash it out etc.  I shall have a think about it.


The boy leaves for New Zealand today... the 4th of about 9 or 10 places.  I am leaving for London on Sunday too... got lots and lots to do before term starts.  Been watching Come Dine With Me, and wishing I could cook.  I have the resources, just not the skill.  But then, I'm not usually that fussy about what my food looks like as long as it is edible.


A lot of people I know are having their endings... their course is finishing, their school career is finishing.  I can't help but wonder if I will be scared when it is my turn... if I'll feel scared to enter the real world of responsibility and bills and taxes and pensions and being a grown up.


xo