Don't tell me lies, so where's your boy/girl?
In Ireland
Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone?
Daddy, to say I was coming home after going out today.
Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
P :)
Have you faced any of your fears lately?
Err.... I... conquered my fear of flying in aeroplanes!
Which friend are you most similar to?
No one... no one is as blonde as I am or as ditzy. Or quite the same kind of weird.
Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends?
I strongly suspect I would hate camping and there would be arguments in the bigger group of friends. So the latter it is then.
Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?
My friends, my mother. the boyfriend... er... sleep...
What did your 7th last text say?
Gotta find my phone!!!
"Skype has turned gay again. Gah .. It is lovely to see you but let's stick to the phone from now on. Still love?"
I'm not going to explain the couple-y language, but Karmic Linux has some bugs to fix.
Has anyone told you they don't ever wanna lose you?
Er.... ??
How do you feel about girls smoking?
I hate people who smoke. If you're reading this, don't ever smoke. And if you do, don't ever tell me. I HATE it.
Do you want someone dead?
NO!
What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
Wonder how I got American currency all of a sudden. And then probably bank it, or give it to my parents.
Is your crush banging someone else?
He better fecking not be.
Have you ever kissed someone while drunk?
Not that I shouldn't have
Who were you with today?
family
You have to get a piercing, what do you get?
none. no more. one ear piercing per ear is quite enough for me
What are you wearing?
jeans and 5 layers of clothing
Do you like the ocean?
it's okay?
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Making no allusions to my relationship, I'd rather share the bed. If only so I don't fall out all the time....
Who is the last person you were in a car with?
sister and mum
What was your dream about last night?
can't remember... dreams have been calm of late
Do you fall for people easily?
no
Everything happens for a reason?
yes, they do.
Has someone put their arms around you in the past five days?
No?
You're trapped in a room for 3 days with your worst enemy, what do you do?
I'm not sure I have a worst enemy?
Do you want to see the movie Paranormal Activity?
no, doesn't sound so good
Would you rather sleep for 3 days, or stay awake for 3 days?
be awake? sleeping for 3 days = very lazy and fat carol
How many kids do you want when you get older?
two. painlessly but sectionlessly and damage-lessly
How old do you want to be when you have kids?
before 30
Do you regret doing anything this week?
er.. probably shoulda revised more
When did you last consume alcohol?
I drink very little, so I can remember everytime I have. It was R's birthday party, in early April, although his birthday is towards the end of March. We went to this lovely restaurant near Covent Garden then onto Yates' in Leicester Square. I had a shot and one mixer.
(I quite weirdly like these tags. T - hope it's okay I stole this from you!)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
i just want you for my own...
I haven't written in a while, due to several reasons. Firstly, I had a poster presentation to work for, and a busy last week of term. My poster was on the global burden of disease of Haemophilus influenzae type b) and we were all nervous... :/ It went well though, and that's one coursework out of the way for this module. Anyway, afterwards, we went to A's and watched Moulin Rouge which I liked; very musical although the ending was a bit... odd. She dies and then he writes a story... kinda a bit anti-climactic though I guess the climax is when she dies? A's flat is beautiful though.. very spacious and open and big too!!! I want a flat like that. We wanted to watch He's Just Not That Into You, based on a dating advice book, which I didn't much care for, because a) I don't need dating advice and b) I find those self help type books boring and a bit too New Age-y for me. But the disc I burnt it on wasn't recognised by A's DVD player :( .... another time though.
Had a lovely Christmas... we had a lovely Christmas lunch and some family time. That's what Christmas means to me: a day to spend time with your family. We don't give presents, especially not anymore. It makes me very sad how everything is becoming commercialised... I don't believe in that. If I need something, it doesn't get dressed up as a present from my parents unless it's my birthday. Since when did the birth of Jesus become a day where people eat way too much and fight to buy the best presents? Now whilst I never claimed to be religious, I still think we should respect all religions. And Christmas Day is a day where Christians across the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I don't think that Jesus would have advocated the mass commercialisation of Christmas, how everything becomes about the presents and/or getting drunk... how Black Friday marks the start of the Christmas season in America... how Selfridge's set up a Christmas display in August. It's crazy and blown totally out of proportion. What would have our ancestors thought?
So, didn't get presents.. standard. I don't really get them anymore and I have been slacking on the "buy the boyfriend gifts" front, though to be fair, he didn't get me anything either. We've both been so busy, he with his trips away and thesising post-doctoring and earning £2000 on the side, and I with my tons of work and domestic stuff.
Braved the sales today. I got this coat... been wanting it for ages.
Got some brown boots, and some books. :) No new phone yet, but am reachable still.. using my mummy's phone. My sister was looking for a dress today, so I thought I'd try some on. Got excited when I fit into a size 4 one, then my mummy turned to say, "yeah, don't trust what it says on the label, it's different in different shops". And before you go on at me for the size 4 thing.. don't.
Er... this post has been edited over several days, not sure if I mentioned this: been working lots. I have this guilt that I carry around with me if I skip a day of uni related work, and P has long been witness to this behaviour. I guess it was the way I was brought up: my parents encouraged me to put studying and education before everything else, even health, such that I was never allowed to take a day off school when I was younger. Not that I had any inclination to. It never occurred to me that I could say, "mommmm, I feel so illlll, pleeease let me have a day off school?" And obviously I skipped lectures in first year of uni, maybe about 10? And lots in second year, but all was in cause of doing my own work. And yes yes, during firms I skipped a tiny bit (haha) in favour of doing my own work and finding people to practice examinations on.
So I try to do at least a tiny bit everyday (even Christmas Day... I wrote something up). I hate feeling like this. And consequently during the summer (which has ever only been my time off uni/school - I used to revise during Christmas and Easter at school too - I feel so... bored. Thankful for the time off, and yet bored. So I do little projects. (NON work related, I hasten to add!)
Am I weird...? :-( I am going to blame the Chinese work ethic. For as long as I remember, my parents always gave everything they did 110%. I never used to understand it when people would say, "oh I gave it 110%" or some number >100. But I really do now. Pushing yourself beyond what you know and think you can do. Because, if someone else can do it, you can do it too. :-)
I mean, I try to take time off. During term, I would take Saturday morning and afternoon off and go out. That's enough right?
Feel like my posts are so rambly and boring... I need to increase my readership, over 0. Oh, I found something on the BBC describing this decade in 100 words and in a portrait. For my part, 2009 has shown me, in very loose phrases, just who my real friends are, and just what I am capable of. I shall try and write once more before 2009 is over, and explain in further detail.
xo
Had a lovely Christmas... we had a lovely Christmas lunch and some family time. That's what Christmas means to me: a day to spend time with your family. We don't give presents, especially not anymore. It makes me very sad how everything is becoming commercialised... I don't believe in that. If I need something, it doesn't get dressed up as a present from my parents unless it's my birthday. Since when did the birth of Jesus become a day where people eat way too much and fight to buy the best presents? Now whilst I never claimed to be religious, I still think we should respect all religions. And Christmas Day is a day where Christians across the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I don't think that Jesus would have advocated the mass commercialisation of Christmas, how everything becomes about the presents and/or getting drunk... how Black Friday marks the start of the Christmas season in America... how Selfridge's set up a Christmas display in August. It's crazy and blown totally out of proportion. What would have our ancestors thought?
So, didn't get presents.. standard. I don't really get them anymore and I have been slacking on the "buy the boyfriend gifts" front, though to be fair, he didn't get me anything either. We've both been so busy, he with his trips away and thesising post-doctoring and earning £2000 on the side, and I with my tons of work and domestic stuff.
Braved the sales today. I got this coat... been wanting it for ages.
 |
| (C) Carol, October 2009 |
Er... this post has been edited over several days, not sure if I mentioned this: been working lots. I have this guilt that I carry around with me if I skip a day of uni related work, and P has long been witness to this behaviour. I guess it was the way I was brought up: my parents encouraged me to put studying and education before everything else, even health, such that I was never allowed to take a day off school when I was younger. Not that I had any inclination to. It never occurred to me that I could say, "mommmm, I feel so illlll, pleeease let me have a day off school?" And obviously I skipped lectures in first year of uni, maybe about 10? And lots in second year, but all was in cause of doing my own work. And yes yes, during firms I skipped a tiny bit (haha) in favour of doing my own work and finding people to practice examinations on.
So I try to do at least a tiny bit everyday (even Christmas Day... I wrote something up). I hate feeling like this. And consequently during the summer (which has ever only been my time off uni/school - I used to revise during Christmas and Easter at school too - I feel so... bored. Thankful for the time off, and yet bored. So I do little projects. (NON work related, I hasten to add!)
Am I weird...? :-( I am going to blame the Chinese work ethic. For as long as I remember, my parents always gave everything they did 110%. I never used to understand it when people would say, "oh I gave it 110%" or some number >100. But I really do now. Pushing yourself beyond what you know and think you can do. Because, if someone else can do it, you can do it too. :-)
I mean, I try to take time off. During term, I would take Saturday morning and afternoon off and go out. That's enough right?
Feel like my posts are so rambly and boring... I need to increase my readership, over 0. Oh, I found something on the BBC describing this decade in 100 words and in a portrait. For my part, 2009 has shown me, in very loose phrases, just who my real friends are, and just what I am capable of. I shall try and write once more before 2009 is over, and explain in further detail.
xo
Sunday, November 29, 2009
"it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"
Haven't written about what's going on in my life, instead writing about what I want, or my odd dreams (they are only a select few. Believe me, there are more). I can't remember if I mentioned already, but one year of my course is taken up by a compulsory BSc, consisting of lectures and a project. Module 2 has just finished; how time flies!
Saw New Moon on Friday; I watched the first film and then read all the books, so everytime I was reading, I would imagine the actors and actresses as the characters. And I think I was building myself up for something bigger and better than it actually was. For people who hadn't read the books, it left a lot unanswered and it didn't explain things very well. Kristen Stewart has not progressed as an actress, neither has Robert Pattinson as an actor. It was good, but superficially so. I did like it, it was a good film but it could have been better, ya know?
It was P's viva on Friday. Let me stop and explain first. I have recently become aware of people reading this blog who are not my friends, and who I do not know. So that means they may well be using a search engine, or clicking next blog, and may not know what I am talking about. A viva is the final step before receiving a doctorate, short of graduation. A doctorate in research is the highest degree an academic institution offers, and the degree allows the student to become a more independent researcher. You essentially write a book, and are orally examined after submission. There is soft pressure to submit within 3 years - the time you get funding - and the hard deadline is 4 years. Hardly anyone submits within 3 years, but P did, thus becoming the second person in his group to do so, the first being over 10 years ago. He passed his viva, with very minimal corrections (of the find and replace variety) such that they hardly count. Now he is a doctor!!
I know that an academic doctor means something different to a medical doctor, and layperson knowledge would place the latter above the former, but it's not true. Medical doctors can become Members and Fellows of Colleges, but the most prestigious degree a university offers is a Doctor of Philosophy. (The Philosophy in this case being Numerical Analysis and Computational Physics, and Galerkin Projections and anisotropy.)
To me, it means less if medical doctors try to get PhD's. It looks like they just want to solidify their credentials, purely by adding extra letters to the end of their name.
But I am very proud of P; he is now a Doctor, a title less easily stripped than that of the medical variety. I guess the next steps are post-doc-ship, Readership, then Fellowship and then FRS-ship, the latter being a very prestigious title. (I don't know how to spell prestigious). So one day, there might be a Doctor P FRS :)
Not much else... just lots of work being done... er, it was C's party last weekend in Harrow; was very fun and so good to see her after so long. Been watching 24 recently; the first two seasons. At first I hated the way that questions were left so unanswered, as if it were Lost-esque, but I found that by reading full plot lines and synopses, I could enjoy it fully. I hate suspense and violence and people dying. Unfortunately, this seems to be what 24 is full of, so I need to read ahead before I watch it. Sad, I know.
xo
Err.. since when did Leighton Meester sing????
Sunday, November 22, 2009
LP & Sailor Mars
I dreamt I was watching people playing lacrosse, and a lacrosse player, whom I vaguely know in real life, came over to me in the break to talk to me and R. I had a blue coat and a red hat on, and he told me my red hat looked cute. We were in a field, and it was sunny, kind of like that early morning sun look.
After the game had finished, we went home and the lacrosse player, whom I shall call LP as I don't want to divulge his real name, joined us. Then we got on the bus, and my oyster card had no travelcard or money on it, so I stood aside to let others touch in, and I got my purse out and found a £2 coin and paid for my bus fare. Then I had to stand on the bus; I was in front of me, and I spoke to her a little bit, then I was like, "where's LP?" I looked around and he wasn't there; then I could see him running on the street outside to the next bus stop to try and hail the bus... to no avail, so he ran onto the next one where he managed to get on, and for some reason I felt relieved. He once again remarked how cute my red hat was; it was a fleecy material and covered my ears but not my sight.
We alighted at a tube station, and Rob suddenly reappeared. I then kind of disappeared from my dream. Then the three of us touched in at the barriers, and LP and I were going on one line, and Rob was going on another, so we said our goodbyes, and R went down some stairs. So as LP and I were walking towards the escalator, he turned and kissed me, even though I knew he had a girlfriend. Then we walked on, went down the escalator and towards the platform, where we met R again.
--
I was helping these parents and children get into their wanted nurseries. Jack Bauer and his little daughter wanted Kensington, and she'd done all sorts of tests and gotten lots of certificates, whereas another lady, whose name I don't remember and her daughter also wanted Kensington, and were worried that because the daughter's test scores and inteviews "weren't the best in history", she wouldn't get to go into Kensington. Then I had a dance class at 2, all the girls were lined up, and someone tried to use their ID card to swipe in, except it set this alarm off. So we all moved away, in case people thought we'd set the alarm off. The next day, I had my Sailor Mars outfit on, and it was the day that the parents would find out which nursery their children would get into. Jack Bauer found out in the morning, and got Hammersmith, which is the one he wanted for his daughter, not Kensington.
So I went to the other lady, and asked her, but she didn't know. She told me that lots of other people knew already, and she was worried as she hadn't received a letter or an email or anything. So I took her code, and went to a computer room and asked some guys to check it out for me. The result was Kensington; by this point, loads of people were anxious to know for this lady and her daughter, and I was like, "she got Kensington!" So we ran back down the hall to this lady, and I told her, then she started crying, in relief, and so did I, and I told her I was proud of her.
I was late for my dance class again, as were a number of other girls. We had to walk through this lecture hall, with the audience full, and someone asked me what costume I was wearing. I shouted "Sailor Mars!" and she was like, "Moon?" So I said, "No! MARS!" feeling a little stupid.
We rang the buzzer for the class, outside this building, and someone answered,then one of the girls said this code phrase, something about Mr Freeze from 60's Batman, except she got it wrong, but the person on the end of the phone knew what she meant, so let us in. Then we went to change into these tops and skirts for dance class, except mine didn't fit :(
Images 1 and 2: googleimages
Image 3: my own
After the game had finished, we went home and the lacrosse player, whom I shall call LP as I don't want to divulge his real name, joined us. Then we got on the bus, and my oyster card had no travelcard or money on it, so I stood aside to let others touch in, and I got my purse out and found a £2 coin and paid for my bus fare. Then I had to stand on the bus; I was in front of me, and I spoke to her a little bit, then I was like, "where's LP?" I looked around and he wasn't there; then I could see him running on the street outside to the next bus stop to try and hail the bus... to no avail, so he ran onto the next one where he managed to get on, and for some reason I felt relieved. He once again remarked how cute my red hat was; it was a fleecy material and covered my ears but not my sight.
We alighted at a tube station, and Rob suddenly reappeared. I then kind of disappeared from my dream. Then the three of us touched in at the barriers, and LP and I were going on one line, and Rob was going on another, so we said our goodbyes, and R went down some stairs. So as LP and I were walking towards the escalator, he turned and kissed me, even though I knew he had a girlfriend. Then we walked on, went down the escalator and towards the platform, where we met R again.
--
I was helping these parents and children get into their wanted nurseries. Jack Bauer and his little daughter wanted Kensington, and she'd done all sorts of tests and gotten lots of certificates, whereas another lady, whose name I don't remember and her daughter also wanted Kensington, and were worried that because the daughter's test scores and inteviews "weren't the best in history", she wouldn't get to go into Kensington. Then I had a dance class at 2, all the girls were lined up, and someone tried to use their ID card to swipe in, except it set this alarm off. So we all moved away, in case people thought we'd set the alarm off. The next day, I had my Sailor Mars outfit on, and it was the day that the parents would find out which nursery their children would get into. Jack Bauer found out in the morning, and got Hammersmith, which is the one he wanted for his daughter, not Kensington.
So I went to the other lady, and asked her, but she didn't know. She told me that lots of other people knew already, and she was worried as she hadn't received a letter or an email or anything. So I took her code, and went to a computer room and asked some guys to check it out for me. The result was Kensington; by this point, loads of people were anxious to know for this lady and her daughter, and I was like, "she got Kensington!" So we ran back down the hall to this lady, and I told her, then she started crying, in relief, and so did I, and I told her I was proud of her.
I was late for my dance class again, as were a number of other girls. We had to walk through this lecture hall, with the audience full, and someone asked me what costume I was wearing. I shouted "Sailor Mars!" and she was like, "Moon?" So I said, "No! MARS!" feeling a little stupid.
We rang the buzzer for the class, outside this building, and someone answered,then one of the girls said this code phrase, something about Mr Freeze from 60's Batman, except she got it wrong, but the person on the end of the phone knew what she meant, so let us in. Then we went to change into these tops and skirts for dance class, except mine didn't fit :(
Images 1 and 2: googleimages
Image 3: my own
"so you're the girl that can't sip anything!"
One of several recent weird dreams...
I was in the airport, where there were glass walls, and it was early morning. The sun was shining so brightly, and I was putting my luggage (a small suitcase) onto a conveyor belt thing, where it would be loaded onto a plane. I had the plane ticket in my pocket, or rather, the boarding pass. I just assumed I was boarding at Gate A, and so followed the signs for it. There were those silver posts with the material rope between them, used to regulate queues and such, and I was in a queue which was shuffling along slowly.
I had a thick coat on but I don't remember feeling warm and I didn't have any hand luggage. I heard this commotion to my left, where there was a huge crowd of people, all celebrating something. I could see people I know, one being Agnetha (umlaut on the e) who was on this platform thing calling to people. So I shouted her name several times as loud as I could so it could be heard over all the cheering, and then I went under one of the ropes towards her and she jumped down and she gave me a hug. In real life, I haven't seen her for over 3 years, and then I saw P and S, who I also embraced, and I told them "I'm actually going home now... I mean, London".
I ran back to the queue, where the people in it weren't disgruntled that I'd left then re-entered, and I saw J, and asked her which flight she was getting. She said she was boarding at Gate B, which meant I was in the wrong queue... so I pulled out my ticket, checked where I was boarding... It said B 02/03, so we were both at the wrong gate, and spent ages trying to find it.
Then I was in some sort of boot camp thing (I was actually thinking X Factor style) where I had been before, and was queueing up for breakfast in this hospital canteen style room. I saw this guy behind me, and introduced myself and asked him if he was one of the new ones or if he'd been here last year, to which he responded positively to the former. So we had these gray trays, and there was a huge bowl of Frostie's and he started to pick them out one by one into a smaller bowl. So I laughed and reached up and there were these blunted silver spoons, which we used to pick them out. Then we sat at this round table, with four or five chairs around it, and this slightly-overweight girl came and sat in between us, and was having a huge bitch to my newly made friend. The subject of topic then came over, and the two girls had some sort of argument, and then the latter stormed off. I got up, and walked after her, and got her attention. She spun round and before she could launch into a tirade, I told her I was just sat there with that boy, I didn't like the girl.. and I just wanted to introduce myself. She was called Lucy and she was also one of the new ones.
After sitting down again, I spoke to some new person on my right whilst eating my cornflakes, and then someone came over and said, "so you're the girl that can't sip anything!" He told me he was Chen's friend and he was in one of his videos and invited me to watch one with him. So I got up, but then was walking in this tunnel, like the one at South Kensington, underground, and there was this trio of workers who were stopping everyone to prime their shoes so they could walk through the tunnel. I thought, whatever, and tried to get past them but one of them stopped me and made me take my shoes off.and put this thin layer of gray stuff on them and then started talking to me. We walked along the tunnel to this bar, and sat on the bar stools (the bar was in the tunnel) and we talked about each oher and found out about each other, and then he asked me what I did, and I said I was a student. I made him pick up my bag which was on the floor and got my NWLHS Trust card and my I ID card.
Then he wanted to pretend to propose in front of his worker friends, and so he picked me up by my knees so I put my hands on his shoulders. Then we fell and were suddenly outside, in front of my parents' shop and I knew inside that my parents wouldn't approve of this public frolicking so I shrugged him off, and ran inside to my parents. My mummy was cutting some meat, and told me to look in the cupboard, where I found about 50 boxes of Cheerio's that she got on offer or on sale.
I was in the airport, where there were glass walls, and it was early morning. The sun was shining so brightly, and I was putting my luggage (a small suitcase) onto a conveyor belt thing, where it would be loaded onto a plane. I had the plane ticket in my pocket, or rather, the boarding pass. I just assumed I was boarding at Gate A, and so followed the signs for it. There were those silver posts with the material rope between them, used to regulate queues and such, and I was in a queue which was shuffling along slowly.
I had a thick coat on but I don't remember feeling warm and I didn't have any hand luggage. I heard this commotion to my left, where there was a huge crowd of people, all celebrating something. I could see people I know, one being Agnetha (umlaut on the e) who was on this platform thing calling to people. So I shouted her name several times as loud as I could so it could be heard over all the cheering, and then I went under one of the ropes towards her and she jumped down and she gave me a hug. In real life, I haven't seen her for over 3 years, and then I saw P and S, who I also embraced, and I told them "I'm actually going home now... I mean, London".
I ran back to the queue, where the people in it weren't disgruntled that I'd left then re-entered, and I saw J, and asked her which flight she was getting. She said she was boarding at Gate B, which meant I was in the wrong queue... so I pulled out my ticket, checked where I was boarding... It said B 02/03, so we were both at the wrong gate, and spent ages trying to find it.
Then I was in some sort of boot camp thing (I was actually thinking X Factor style) where I had been before, and was queueing up for breakfast in this hospital canteen style room. I saw this guy behind me, and introduced myself and asked him if he was one of the new ones or if he'd been here last year, to which he responded positively to the former. So we had these gray trays, and there was a huge bowl of Frostie's and he started to pick them out one by one into a smaller bowl. So I laughed and reached up and there were these blunted silver spoons, which we used to pick them out. Then we sat at this round table, with four or five chairs around it, and this slightly-overweight girl came and sat in between us, and was having a huge bitch to my newly made friend. The subject of topic then came over, and the two girls had some sort of argument, and then the latter stormed off. I got up, and walked after her, and got her attention. She spun round and before she could launch into a tirade, I told her I was just sat there with that boy, I didn't like the girl.. and I just wanted to introduce myself. She was called Lucy and she was also one of the new ones.
After sitting down again, I spoke to some new person on my right whilst eating my cornflakes, and then someone came over and said, "so you're the girl that can't sip anything!" He told me he was Chen's friend and he was in one of his videos and invited me to watch one with him. So I got up, but then was walking in this tunnel, like the one at South Kensington, underground, and there was this trio of workers who were stopping everyone to prime their shoes so they could walk through the tunnel. I thought, whatever, and tried to get past them but one of them stopped me and made me take my shoes off.and put this thin layer of gray stuff on them and then started talking to me. We walked along the tunnel to this bar, and sat on the bar stools (the bar was in the tunnel) and we talked about each oher and found out about each other, and then he asked me what I did, and I said I was a student. I made him pick up my bag which was on the floor and got my NWLHS Trust card and my I ID card.
Then he wanted to pretend to propose in front of his worker friends, and so he picked me up by my knees so I put my hands on his shoulders. Then we fell and were suddenly outside, in front of my parents' shop and I knew inside that my parents wouldn't approve of this public frolicking so I shrugged him off, and ran inside to my parents. My mummy was cutting some meat, and told me to look in the cupboard, where I found about 50 boxes of Cheerio's that she got on offer or on sale.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
you cut me open and i....
It isn't very often that I feel a conflict between my medical beliefs and my personal beliefs. Giving blood used to not be one of these, but understanding how much it is needed and how there is a national shortage. Although... I have seen blood being given by anaesthetists many times: the shortage cannot be THAT bad.
As a medical student, I feel obliged to set an example to my non-medic friends, and to educate them in some small way. Giving blood is a very noble thing to do, particularly as many people feel that they need all their blood, and only a very small proportion of the population donate. It doesn't hurt and it could help to save someone's life. There's a big culture of "oh, my contribution won't make much difference.. I'll just wait for someone else to do it".. but people fail to understand the necessity of blood sometimes.
But personally, I actually do need all my blood. I don't weigh enough to qualify for blood or bone marrow donation. I feel faint if I stand up too quickly, and I go through phases of semi anaemia, where I don't eat (anything) and feel tired and weak and breathless. And yet, I feel somehow like I should do it, I should give some blood. When better than the present to begin to make a difference to someone's life?
But it's very hard for me to gain weight, and it makes me upset to know I have put it on, if I do. I actually get on the scales most days and lament if it's over a certain number, despite people saying that scales don't actually have the word "fat" programmed into them. I go through phases of being bothered by my weight, and comparing myself to other people. In an ideal world, I'd like to be healthily slim, to match my petite height.
It just frustrates me when people just say, you're blatantly thin. Just saying something doesn't mean that it's true, or that if you say it enough times, it means it's real. I don't feel consoled when friends say, stop trying to lose weight. That's the natural reflex reaction. No one would ever tell me, yeah you're actually fat, do something about it. It goes against friend instinct to tell someone something they don't want to hear.
As a medical student, I feel obliged to set an example to my non-medic friends, and to educate them in some small way. Giving blood is a very noble thing to do, particularly as many people feel that they need all their blood, and only a very small proportion of the population donate. It doesn't hurt and it could help to save someone's life. There's a big culture of "oh, my contribution won't make much difference.. I'll just wait for someone else to do it".. but people fail to understand the necessity of blood sometimes.
But personally, I actually do need all my blood. I don't weigh enough to qualify for blood or bone marrow donation. I feel faint if I stand up too quickly, and I go through phases of semi anaemia, where I don't eat (anything) and feel tired and weak and breathless. And yet, I feel somehow like I should do it, I should give some blood. When better than the present to begin to make a difference to someone's life?
But it's very hard for me to gain weight, and it makes me upset to know I have put it on, if I do. I actually get on the scales most days and lament if it's over a certain number, despite people saying that scales don't actually have the word "fat" programmed into them. I go through phases of being bothered by my weight, and comparing myself to other people. In an ideal world, I'd like to be healthily slim, to match my petite height.
It just frustrates me when people just say, you're blatantly thin. Just saying something doesn't mean that it's true, or that if you say it enough times, it means it's real. I don't feel consoled when friends say, stop trying to lose weight. That's the natural reflex reaction. No one would ever tell me, yeah you're actually fat, do something about it. It goes against friend instinct to tell someone something they don't want to hear.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
"are you skiving assembly just to meet me?"
Not had a crazy dream in awhile...
I was in this building, which had two revolving doors at its entrance, both requiring card swipe access before you could get in. I had this huge bag of stuff in my hand as well as a handbag on my shoulder full of school work, and for some reason I was looking for my purse but I could not find it. So then I jumped in the lift (literally. It wa akin to those paternoster things, except you had to press a button to call it, and then jump into the little box thing, and it was super quick.) to the second floor, where the floor was cream coloured and marbled and I found my purse there on the floor nearby the doors. Even though there were lots of people, no one though it odd that I looked out of place and was picking up my purse.
My keys were meant to be in there, and they were. Except with no keys. In real life, I have about 6 keyrings on my keys, each separating a different set of keys. The keys were not there, and I was panicking about it, as they had 5 housekeys on, some "university key" which does not exist in real life, and my nectar card. Dumb, I know. Anyway. I ran back downstairs, down the stairs which were sort of marbly granite, to the ground floor near the entrance. I could see it was sunshining, and people were coming in and out. So I inspected this keyring of keys, and for some reason I decided to run back upstairs, to the second floor.
I wasn't sure what I was hoping to gain from this, but near the doors where I found my keyset, there were little pieces of plastic, which I felt would held and be a clue, so I took them, and then calmly walked down the stairs.
Have you ever been stressed about something? And then you see your best friend or your significant other, and this stress just seems to dissipate and feel insignificant? Well, that's what happened. I must have been waiting for someone at the entrance, but I got a phone call from a person (I won't say who, as I know them in real life) and he asked me:
"Hey Carol, where are you?"
"at work. why where are you?"
"in the Wyman building. do you want to come up?"
"are you skiving assembly just to meet me?" (with happy smile on face)
(I hadn't realised prior to this conversation that I was in the Wyman building)
So I went up quite a few floors, and we embraced and kissed, and chatted for ages, both obviously skiving assembly.. I told him about my loss of keys, and he made sure I retraced my steps, and then just said I could just get them copied, there are back up copies everywhere.
Then I spent all day with this person, clearly we both weren't going to lessons. We spent the day walking around and talking and then suddenly he disappeared and said, don't worry you'll see me very soon.
Then very weirdly, I was having a dress fitting. In a supermarket aisle.
The dress was beautiful, floor length with a very flowing skirt which was too long for me; it was hot dusky pink (I am going to have a hard time trying to find you guys a photo!). The dressmaker put it on me, but it was too big and kept falling down. It was meant to be one shouldered, and would cover the straples bra that I had on, but it kept slipping down so you could see the bra I was wearing. Anyway. I got frustrated, made the dressmaker leave, and fixed it with pins myself. One of my girl friends was watching, giving advice about where to put the pins.
Out of nowhere, I heard this music, and then knew I had to stop pinning my dress and walk down the aisle. I threw on a black coat (one like one I own in real life; it's long and comes to my knees) as I felt it matched the dress and I was cold. Then as ladies do, I picked up the sides of the very long skirt, and discovered I had black courts on, but with a pointy-ish toe and thought "yes, I put the right shoes on!" So I asked my friend, am I holding too much up and she told me I had to let the left side go down a little. I could see that then, equally on both sides, the skirt was still on the floor but realised this was the way it was meant to be. You were not meant to see my shoes.
All the while, this music was playing and so I started to walk down the supermarket aisle gracefully one step at a time, holding my skirt up as before, yet feeling like there should be someone at my side. The only hitch in the walk was that I had to sidestep around some discarded black shoes in my way. I could see another of my girlfriends standing, waiting for me in the room that joined onto the supermarket aisle.
And in that room, I could see displays of flowers, people in suits, people turning to try and see me.... and it was only then that I realised (excitedly) what I was doing, what this dress was for, why the music and so on...... I was marrying this friend who had called me to say he was in the Wyman building!
Once in the room, I could see the guests all arranged as if they were in a lecture theatre: the guests were sitting down, and the row behind the first was slightly raised behind the first, and the second raised more, and so on. Everyone was wearing white.
I turned to my right, and saw him, dressed very handsomely, and I could see an old man in white, both clearly awaiting me. Unusually, both I and the husband-to-be were facing the guests. Traditionally, the bride and groom have their backs to the guests, or at least, they are side on.
----
I thought I would write this dream, because never before have things happened in a dream, where dream me had no clue what was going on, and had to figure things out in the dream to work out what was happening. I hope that I do not realise I am becoming married in such a manner.
xo
Images are all from google images
My keys were meant to be in there, and they were. Except with no keys. In real life, I have about 6 keyrings on my keys, each separating a different set of keys. The keys were not there, and I was panicking about it, as they had 5 housekeys on, some "university key" which does not exist in real life, and my nectar card. Dumb, I know. Anyway. I ran back downstairs, down the stairs which were sort of marbly granite, to the ground floor near the entrance. I could see it was sunshining, and people were coming in and out. So I inspected this keyring of keys, and for some reason I decided to run back upstairs, to the second floor.
my keys are of the same sentiment as these in real life, but weigh more
I wasn't sure what I was hoping to gain from this, but near the doors where I found my keyset, there were little pieces of plastic, which I felt would held and be a clue, so I took them, and then calmly walked down the stairs.
Have you ever been stressed about something? And then you see your best friend or your significant other, and this stress just seems to dissipate and feel insignificant? Well, that's what happened. I must have been waiting for someone at the entrance, but I got a phone call from a person (I won't say who, as I know them in real life) and he asked me:
"Hey Carol, where are you?"
"at work. why where are you?"
"in the Wyman building. do you want to come up?"
"are you skiving assembly just to meet me?" (with happy smile on face)
(I hadn't realised prior to this conversation that I was in the Wyman building)
So I went up quite a few floors, and we embraced and kissed, and chatted for ages, both obviously skiving assembly.. I told him about my loss of keys, and he made sure I retraced my steps, and then just said I could just get them copied, there are back up copies everywhere.
Then I spent all day with this person, clearly we both weren't going to lessons. We spent the day walking around and talking and then suddenly he disappeared and said, don't worry you'll see me very soon.
Then very weirdly, I was having a dress fitting. In a supermarket aisle.
The dress was beautiful, floor length with a very flowing skirt which was too long for me; it was hot dusky pink (I am going to have a hard time trying to find you guys a photo!). The dressmaker put it on me, but it was too big and kept falling down. It was meant to be one shouldered, and would cover the straples bra that I had on, but it kept slipping down so you could see the bra I was wearing. Anyway. I got frustrated, made the dressmaker leave, and fixed it with pins myself. One of my girl friends was watching, giving advice about where to put the pins.
the dress was the style of the first, with the train of the second. i cannot find a color that fits what i want
Out of nowhere, I heard this music, and then knew I had to stop pinning my dress and walk down the aisle. I threw on a black coat (one like one I own in real life; it's long and comes to my knees) as I felt it matched the dress and I was cold. Then as ladies do, I picked up the sides of the very long skirt, and discovered I had black courts on, but with a pointy-ish toe and thought "yes, I put the right shoes on!" So I asked my friend, am I holding too much up and she told me I had to let the left side go down a little. I could see that then, equally on both sides, the skirt was still on the floor but realised this was the way it was meant to be. You were not meant to see my shoes.
All the while, this music was playing and so I started to walk down the supermarket aisle gracefully one step at a time, holding my skirt up as before, yet feeling like there should be someone at my side. The only hitch in the walk was that I had to sidestep around some discarded black shoes in my way. I could see another of my girlfriends standing, waiting for me in the room that joined onto the supermarket aisle.
And in that room, I could see displays of flowers, people in suits, people turning to try and see me.... and it was only then that I realised (excitedly) what I was doing, what this dress was for, why the music and so on...... I was marrying this friend who had called me to say he was in the Wyman building!
Once in the room, I could see the guests all arranged as if they were in a lecture theatre: the guests were sitting down, and the row behind the first was slightly raised behind the first, and the second raised more, and so on. Everyone was wearing white.
I turned to my right, and saw him, dressed very handsomely, and I could see an old man in white, both clearly awaiting me. Unusually, both I and the husband-to-be were facing the guests. Traditionally, the bride and groom have their backs to the guests, or at least, they are side on.
----
I thought I would write this dream, because never before have things happened in a dream, where dream me had no clue what was going on, and had to figure things out in the dream to work out what was happening. I hope that I do not realise I am becoming married in such a manner.
I like this manner of finding pictures to describe things in my dream. Thoughts?
xo
Images are all from google images
Monday, October 26, 2009
play until midnight
I see by reading Dessa's blog that I am Miss Pink! :D I guess it's because I'm a girly girl. We went to a restaurant on Edgware Road last week, to a place called Abu Zaad, where she ordered in Arabic, which I thought was pretty cool. I'm not confident enough in my Chinese speaking ability to be able to order in a restaurant. The food was yummy, and very well priced. It was good to have a chat and see peolle I hadn't seen for a little while. With the use of N's iphone, we were able to look at facebook and hot friends. Sadly, I could not think of any :(
It was graduation last week; went along as I was in the library and SAF. Saw many people in their gowns, saw a few friends and familiar faces... I can't wait to graduate!
I have done much work this week... lectures and the like, reading and writing... I feel a bit overwhelmed by the first module. Although, when I started my placements last year at NP and CX, I had lots of information thrown at me at one time, so it seemed stressful but going through it, it wasn't too bad. I am hoping that that is what this year will be like.
Went to see the new Heath Ledger film. Yes I have referred to it as this, because
a) if I say "The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassuss" most people won't know what I mean
b) everyone knows who Heath Ledger is
c) it's easier to say
It was good because it was very different. All the characters were played very well. Tom Waits was an excellent Devil, and Lily Cole was great as Valentina. She has an alien like look about her, which is probably why she got scouted. I love her though. She's very pretty. But the story kinda.... I didn't understand what happened in one bit, where the Devil and Valentina are dancing, and then she goes through the wrong door.
Had a general knowledge quiz from P the other night, as he asked me how did I rate my general knowledge. He then proceeded to ask me what I thought were specialist knowledge questions. It made me feel a little dumb, but I think I'm happier with someone who knows much more than I do. My one general knowledge question for him.. he got wrong though. I at least got a few right.
It has become insanely cold and I realise that I am totally not prepared. What have i done for the past three years then? I must have worn something! But now I look at my wardrobe and all I can see is summery stuff.
Went to buy a travelcard from the station except the student part of my student oyster got cancelled... Because I have a young persons railcard, I am entitled to an extra 33% off from daily price capping, so I had it loaded a few weeks ago. Today, the lady charged me almost £65 for a travelcard (was almost painful!) and told me to ring the oyster helpline.
So the man was not useful at all; told me to go back to the station and transfer the travelcard to another oyster (which I had to pay for) and then wait for a new oyster in the post. Anyway. The long and short of it was that the man who loaded the YP railcard CANCELLED my student discount on my STUDENT OYSTER (I was not even aware such a thing is POSSIBLE before the expiry date!!) but I was helped by a very nice ticket agent who
a) gave me a full refund, even though he said I'd lose £3.40
b) reloaded my student discount
c) fixed the railcard problem!
Say what you like about TfL and the buses that are delayed and tube strikes and tube maintenance at weekends, and rude staff, and crazy prices (er, actually, that's a lot to complain about) but my opinion has totally changed. I didn't lose any money, it only took an hour to sort out (half of that was on the phone and half of that phone time was waiting in a queue!) so I went home and wrote a thankyou comment on the TfL website, and requested that it be sent to the man who helped me.
I am sooo glad I have 3 years (including this one!) of studentship to go :) Discounts, no council tax, cheap stuff, free stuff, cheap transport.... YAY! =)
What else..... I think I am ill. But in that halfway house phase where I know I have symptoms but nothing that's outwardly obvious so no one believes me. I would just like to be ill already and get it over with. Ooh, that reminds me. I have not done those note things for a while... maybe soon.
Been looking for more girly films to download, and also want to expand my nail polish collection. It's currently 2. :( So I shall publish my Christmas wishlist very soon.
It was graduation last week; went along as I was in the library and SAF. Saw many people in their gowns, saw a few friends and familiar faces... I can't wait to graduate!
I have done much work this week... lectures and the like, reading and writing... I feel a bit overwhelmed by the first module. Although, when I started my placements last year at NP and CX, I had lots of information thrown at me at one time, so it seemed stressful but going through it, it wasn't too bad. I am hoping that that is what this year will be like.
Went to see the new Heath Ledger film. Yes I have referred to it as this, because
a) if I say "The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassuss" most people won't know what I mean
b) everyone knows who Heath Ledger is
c) it's easier to say
It was good because it was very different. All the characters were played very well. Tom Waits was an excellent Devil, and Lily Cole was great as Valentina. She has an alien like look about her, which is probably why she got scouted. I love her though. She's very pretty. But the story kinda.... I didn't understand what happened in one bit, where the Devil and Valentina are dancing, and then she goes through the wrong door.
Had a general knowledge quiz from P the other night, as he asked me how did I rate my general knowledge. He then proceeded to ask me what I thought were specialist knowledge questions. It made me feel a little dumb, but I think I'm happier with someone who knows much more than I do. My one general knowledge question for him.. he got wrong though. I at least got a few right.
It has become insanely cold and I realise that I am totally not prepared. What have i done for the past three years then? I must have worn something! But now I look at my wardrobe and all I can see is summery stuff.
Went to buy a travelcard from the station except the student part of my student oyster got cancelled... Because I have a young persons railcard, I am entitled to an extra 33% off from daily price capping, so I had it loaded a few weeks ago. Today, the lady charged me almost £65 for a travelcard (was almost painful!) and told me to ring the oyster helpline.
So the man was not useful at all; told me to go back to the station and transfer the travelcard to another oyster (which I had to pay for) and then wait for a new oyster in the post. Anyway. The long and short of it was that the man who loaded the YP railcard CANCELLED my student discount on my STUDENT OYSTER (I was not even aware such a thing is POSSIBLE before the expiry date!!) but I was helped by a very nice ticket agent who
a) gave me a full refund, even though he said I'd lose £3.40
b) reloaded my student discount
c) fixed the railcard problem!
Say what you like about TfL and the buses that are delayed and tube strikes and tube maintenance at weekends, and rude staff, and crazy prices (er, actually, that's a lot to complain about) but my opinion has totally changed. I didn't lose any money, it only took an hour to sort out (half of that was on the phone and half of that phone time was waiting in a queue!) so I went home and wrote a thankyou comment on the TfL website, and requested that it be sent to the man who helped me.
I am sooo glad I have 3 years (including this one!) of studentship to go :) Discounts, no council tax, cheap stuff, free stuff, cheap transport.... YAY! =)
What else..... I think I am ill. But in that halfway house phase where I know I have symptoms but nothing that's outwardly obvious so no one believes me. I would just like to be ill already and get it over with. Ooh, that reminds me. I have not done those note things for a while... maybe soon.
Been looking for more girly films to download, and also want to expand my nail polish collection. It's currently 2. :( So I shall publish my Christmas wishlist very soon.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
i've been a bit of a mystery...
Sorry I haven't updated in a while... I feel like I haven't written for ages. Usually, I queue up posts, and publish them at a scheduled later date. I mean, for more frequent updates, check my twitter or talk to me!! I had my first Belly Dancing session today; it was free because it was to garner interest. I went with Isma; I loved it!!! It was really fun :D I wouldn't say easy as the instructor would do one thing with her hips to one rhythm and do something else with her hands to another rhythm and that confused me a bit as it made me want to do it in synchrony. I guess it comes down to practice. So then after the session, I and I went to buy membership and a block of classes. So I can get fit.. and learn... how to dance? Except I'd never show anybody.
Been working away, lectures and essays and critical appraisals. My course organiser gave us the bare minimum of guidance for the critical appraisal.. in that he told us what it was and what people do in them. It was difficult. Essay... er... yeah. Work... going okay.
No crazy dreams that I remember. Been feeling REALLY cold lately. Had to sleep with both my duvets over me (I better add here that I have two duvets on my bed. Well technically three. There's one that goes on the mattress and under the fitted sheet, because it's better for my back and traps heat in it. Then I have a single one for my own personal use because I (apparently) get territorial when I sleep. And the third is the normal one that matches the pillowcases, it's a double) and a thick blanket. And I got really grumpy last night when P tried to move as he let cold air in! And the radiator was on full blast as well.
Despite not having finished a book I am reading at the moment: The Girl Next Door by Elizabeth Noble, I am looking for more books to read :) Is Dan Brown's new one any good? I guess I'll wikipedia it...
A, I and I had a really fun conversation today at lunch... we reminisced about firms and OSCE's and about O&G and sections and deliveries... and then I randomly came out with "when do you think is the best time to get married?" Because in our intended career, it is difficult to take long lengths of time out for your own personal use... everything is career oriented. You have a duty to your staff and to your patients. For anyone, there is never a right time to get married... not an alarm that goes off that tells you when it's time to get married. But for female doctors it is harder. Because we have to balance a work and family lifestyle, involving children.
So we discussed when was the most suitable time to get married, and when to have children... and other career like things. After all, these decisions will become pertinent to us in a few years. Anju and I were quite good friends in first year and then we kind of drifted away a bit. But because now we are both doing the same BSc, I feel like I have gotten to know her again :-D
Having never been to a wedding ever, I have taken it upon myself to ask many people I know to get married, in the hope that I get to go to their wedding. And NO, it does not count if I go to my own wedding. It's different. I wouldn't get to check out everyone's outfits and gossip, because I'd be expected to smile and cry at the right times, and look radiant. So if you know me and are reading this, please would you get married? I'm not saying go out and marry the first person you see... just... get a girl/boyfriend, date for awhile and then marry. P is of the age where many of his friends are getting married. But I am not yet, but I want to go to weddings! I want to be a bridesmaid or wear pretty dresses.
Gave the new BLG album a listen a couple of weekends ago. I really love it. My new favourite song is "Chemicals Collide" because it has a lovely meaning.
Er.... what else is there to say? No real gossip of noteworthy news, meeting up with friends tomorrow, need a coat...
I made a Christmas wishlist a few days ago too!!!! It is not long or extensive, 75% of it being books (there are 4 things on it so far).... I never know if it's okay to give Christmas presents to my friends... I suspect they'd never go for it, and I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want to be the only one to give presents and not to receive any... and then I'd look strange as all my friends would be like "why is she giving me a present?"
Been working away, lectures and essays and critical appraisals. My course organiser gave us the bare minimum of guidance for the critical appraisal.. in that he told us what it was and what people do in them. It was difficult. Essay... er... yeah. Work... going okay.
No crazy dreams that I remember. Been feeling REALLY cold lately. Had to sleep with both my duvets over me (I better add here that I have two duvets on my bed. Well technically three. There's one that goes on the mattress and under the fitted sheet, because it's better for my back and traps heat in it. Then I have a single one for my own personal use because I (apparently) get territorial when I sleep. And the third is the normal one that matches the pillowcases, it's a double) and a thick blanket. And I got really grumpy last night when P tried to move as he let cold air in! And the radiator was on full blast as well.
Despite not having finished a book I am reading at the moment: The Girl Next Door by Elizabeth Noble, I am looking for more books to read :) Is Dan Brown's new one any good? I guess I'll wikipedia it...
A, I and I had a really fun conversation today at lunch... we reminisced about firms and OSCE's and about O&G and sections and deliveries... and then I randomly came out with "when do you think is the best time to get married?" Because in our intended career, it is difficult to take long lengths of time out for your own personal use... everything is career oriented. You have a duty to your staff and to your patients. For anyone, there is never a right time to get married... not an alarm that goes off that tells you when it's time to get married. But for female doctors it is harder. Because we have to balance a work and family lifestyle, involving children.
So we discussed when was the most suitable time to get married, and when to have children... and other career like things. After all, these decisions will become pertinent to us in a few years. Anju and I were quite good friends in first year and then we kind of drifted away a bit. But because now we are both doing the same BSc, I feel like I have gotten to know her again :-D
Having never been to a wedding ever, I have taken it upon myself to ask many people I know to get married, in the hope that I get to go to their wedding. And NO, it does not count if I go to my own wedding. It's different. I wouldn't get to check out everyone's outfits and gossip, because I'd be expected to smile and cry at the right times, and look radiant. So if you know me and are reading this, please would you get married? I'm not saying go out and marry the first person you see... just... get a girl/boyfriend, date for awhile and then marry. P is of the age where many of his friends are getting married. But I am not yet, but I want to go to weddings! I want to be a bridesmaid or wear pretty dresses.
Gave the new BLG album a listen a couple of weekends ago. I really love it. My new favourite song is "Chemicals Collide" because it has a lovely meaning.
Er.... what else is there to say? No real gossip of noteworthy news, meeting up with friends tomorrow, need a coat...
I made a Christmas wishlist a few days ago too!!!! It is not long or extensive, 75% of it being books (there are 4 things on it so far).... I never know if it's okay to give Christmas presents to my friends... I suspect they'd never go for it, and I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want to be the only one to give presents and not to receive any... and then I'd look strange as all my friends would be like "why is she giving me a present?"
i've got a couple of addictions,
but i swear that i'm coming clean;
i've got a new way of thinking,
yeah you're bringing out the best in me
Monday, October 12, 2009
i wish that i could turn this car around
Not had a weird dream in a while.
Was on a cruise ship in Barbados with N, C, M, Jenny and this random guy. We found our suite, which was a three bedroom one. C and I took one, and N and M took the other. This must have meant J + randomer took the last one but I don't remember them doing so. The rooms were very big, with a huge double bed each, they were light in color and were ensuite. The rooms were all connected, and there were no doors between them, so people could easily walk between them. There was obviously a main door.
So we put a load of clothes in the washing machine in our suite on in the evening, and then went to sleep. C slept one way in the bed, and I slept the other way. During the night C grabbed my foot, and I had a hard time getting it off her without waking her. Even though I was asleep, I could hear M coming over to try to tickle me during the night :S and then J asked that because S had asked us to bring some clothes over so we could wash them for her, could she use them to pad out a load of clothes to do another wash? She was holding the pile of S's clothes, some of which were red. Then I folded my white top with bows on and added it. Then I asked, why are we all awake at this time anyway? As it was dark, but I checked my phone and it was 10am.
We all went to breakfast, in this very ornate part of the boat. There were tables with white cloths, and basically we could have anything we wanted for breakfast. So I was sat on a table on one side, with M and the random guy on the other. He had blonde/ginger hair, was quite pale and had blue eyes. We made small talk, then I asked how he knew N. By my asking this, I somehow figured out that N had paid for us all to come on this cruise ship around the Carribean. Anyway, he said "from last year", meaning that last year N and C had come to Barbados and he met them then. I was confused, asking him if that meant that he lived in Barbados, but he said he was from Marseilles, making him a Marseillian (don't even know if that is the right word, but that's what I thought of hiim as in my dream). So he kept talking, and I was like, "I KNOW! You have an Irish sounding accent!" Then he asked me about where my parents were from. I explained they were from Vietnam, and were refugees and came to England - I've told everyone this story, so I'll skip how they got to England. And I said, now I live in London but was born in Manchester. When he looked quizzical, I added, "that's in the north of England".
It was soon lunch, and M and I were sat down at the side of the huge ship, and I reached up for some reason and knocked this huge blue decorated pole off the ship. I had a huge panic, and went to find the owner of the ship. I went past this group of people who were practising a dance for the evening's entertainment, and asked someone just standing around who was the owner of the ship. He then took me to a man dressed in a navy blue suit, and introduced me to Stephen Wang, president of some association (I don't remember what it was). I then introduced myself, in a very medical student way. "Hi, I'm Carol, I'm from England but my parents are from Vietnam. Thankyou for inviting me on this ship. I'm really really really really really really really really really really sorry, but I've kind of damaged your ship." Then I brought him to show him where I had knocked the pole off and on the way promised that if any costs were incurred, I would pay for it. But he was like, oh it doesn't matter. So I showed him the blue pole in the water, except it had gone... :( And he said, it doesn't matter, no one will notice. I then went, "but it matches the red one!" (on the other side of the ship) but then said, well no one noticed me knock it off, hope that's okay.
After, I went to rejoin M for my lunch and he was talking to T and told me that N and C had gone for a nap because they were "special" (his word).
Was on a cruise ship in Barbados with N, C, M, Jenny and this random guy. We found our suite, which was a three bedroom one. C and I took one, and N and M took the other. This must have meant J + randomer took the last one but I don't remember them doing so. The rooms were very big, with a huge double bed each, they were light in color and were ensuite. The rooms were all connected, and there were no doors between them, so people could easily walk between them. There was obviously a main door.
So we put a load of clothes in the washing machine in our suite on in the evening, and then went to sleep. C slept one way in the bed, and I slept the other way. During the night C grabbed my foot, and I had a hard time getting it off her without waking her. Even though I was asleep, I could hear M coming over to try to tickle me during the night :S and then J asked that because S had asked us to bring some clothes over so we could wash them for her, could she use them to pad out a load of clothes to do another wash? She was holding the pile of S's clothes, some of which were red. Then I folded my white top with bows on and added it. Then I asked, why are we all awake at this time anyway? As it was dark, but I checked my phone and it was 10am.
We all went to breakfast, in this very ornate part of the boat. There were tables with white cloths, and basically we could have anything we wanted for breakfast. So I was sat on a table on one side, with M and the random guy on the other. He had blonde/ginger hair, was quite pale and had blue eyes. We made small talk, then I asked how he knew N. By my asking this, I somehow figured out that N had paid for us all to come on this cruise ship around the Carribean. Anyway, he said "from last year", meaning that last year N and C had come to Barbados and he met them then. I was confused, asking him if that meant that he lived in Barbados, but he said he was from Marseilles, making him a Marseillian (don't even know if that is the right word, but that's what I thought of hiim as in my dream). So he kept talking, and I was like, "I KNOW! You have an Irish sounding accent!" Then he asked me about where my parents were from. I explained they were from Vietnam, and were refugees and came to England - I've told everyone this story, so I'll skip how they got to England. And I said, now I live in London but was born in Manchester. When he looked quizzical, I added, "that's in the north of England".
It was soon lunch, and M and I were sat down at the side of the huge ship, and I reached up for some reason and knocked this huge blue decorated pole off the ship. I had a huge panic, and went to find the owner of the ship. I went past this group of people who were practising a dance for the evening's entertainment, and asked someone just standing around who was the owner of the ship. He then took me to a man dressed in a navy blue suit, and introduced me to Stephen Wang, president of some association (I don't remember what it was). I then introduced myself, in a very medical student way. "Hi, I'm Carol, I'm from England but my parents are from Vietnam. Thankyou for inviting me on this ship. I'm really really really really really really really really really really sorry, but I've kind of damaged your ship." Then I brought him to show him where I had knocked the pole off and on the way promised that if any costs were incurred, I would pay for it. But he was like, oh it doesn't matter. So I showed him the blue pole in the water, except it had gone... :( And he said, it doesn't matter, no one will notice. I then went, "but it matches the red one!" (on the other side of the ship) but then said, well no one noticed me knock it off, hope that's okay.
After, I went to rejoin M for my lunch and he was talking to T and told me that N and C had gone for a nap because they were "special" (his word).
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
stars and satellites
After the mania of Freshers Fair yesterday, R and I went for afternoon tea at the V&A, across the road from I. The light looking thing (chandelier?) in the main entrance is beautiful.... it's been there ages, hasn't it? Never having really explored the V&A before, I wasn't really familiar with anything in it. But anyway. I brought about the sale of R's spare Michael McIntyre tickets (it was a real headache) so he bought me two pieces of cake and we shared some tea. It was lovely, because the room is so ornate and grand, just for a cafe. Here are some pictures: (the last one if the thing in the main entrance)
Anyway. It was lovely to have a nice chat. Even though I see R quite often, we don't really get to stop and talk about things. So maybe we should make this a regular thing. After all, if we don't keep meeting up, we're just going to lose touch with everybody. :(
Images: google images
Anyway. It was lovely to have a nice chat. Even though I see R quite often, we don't really get to stop and talk about things. So maybe we should make this a regular thing. After all, if we don't keep meeting up, we're just going to lose touch with everybody. :(
Images: google images
Sunday, October 4, 2009
there is a.....
hot library guy working at the Central Library; he has really pretty eyes. Speaking of hot people, I forgot to mention how in Obs &Gynae there seem to be lots of hot doctors :D When I was on my elective over the summer, there were three or four hot obs/gyn doctors. And to complete the list of hotness, I think emo haircuts can look quite good too :) y'know, a la Rhys Ashworth from Hollyoaks or Martin from BLG.
I had a very odd dream where I was Kristen Stewart as Bella in Twilight (do not ask me how this even came about) and somehow we had all died (my family) and then Edward/Robert Pattinson needed to go and check something at this school. After rifling through lots of papers, he suddenly found one which stated that he was paying his best friend's daughter's school fees, and signing the payslip, which somehow meant that now she wasn't able to stay at the school.
This morning I had a very odd dream, where I was going to R's house, and I was an au pair for these three children. So we were going up the stairs, and I remarked how it didn't look like the way to his front door, and he replied that it was a back way, and lead into an office which belonged to his dad. But it was in his flat. (?) Anyway. On the way up the stairs, he found a sweater and gave it to me, and I promptly put it on but the cuffs were too small for my hands to get through. It looked like this.
And then one of the children I was au pairing for said that she had a maid and I was shocked that families still had maids.
My friends and I want to go to a restaurant called Dans le Noir? which is where you choose from a set of four menu colours, and you are served and eat in the dark, and blind people help and serve you as they orientate themselves better in the dark, not having that sense already. It is interesting and is certainly a novel concept. I've been wanting to go for aaaages :( And then I think you find out what you have eaten afterwards. It seems fun because a lot of our eating is done with our eyes, in that we decide if something tastes good based on the flavours and what it looks like and how the food is presented. Perhaps we would lose our prejudices about certain foods, were we to eat in the dark.
And also, commuting from my flat to HH several times a week gives me an interesting insight into the concept of personal space. When you're walking down the street, you do not walk very close to someone, unless you're with them. On the bus, it is often necessary to stand close to people, yet people are very hesitant to do so, even though it would create more room for other people to stand. The bus is still a more... formal way of transport, even though that is not the right phrase for what I want to say. I mean, people often like to have their own two seats, and sit next to the window... and then when others get on, they tend to prefer to take seats that have no one on them already. But on the tube, there is often no sense of personal space.. people stand very close to each other, and you hear things you don't want to, see things you're not supposed to. I dislike the tube, even though it is so convenient. I just don't like the idea of not knowing where I am going, in the sense of seeing things around me as I am travelling.
Went to see The Four Seasons at the Royal Albert Hall last night. Was very fun. The orchestra were dressed in 18th century (?) style clothes, and the music was very vivacious. Then we went to Oddono's.. best ice cream place ever ever, and sat outside there talking for an hour, then A, R and I tried to do the Telegraph crossword.
Images: all from google images
Friday, October 2, 2009
Linux vs Windows
Having a computer programming computational physics numerical analysis person for a boyfriend, you might expect that I too would be biased towards using Linux as an operating system. Linux is commonly known as an operating system for people who want to do computer programming and samesuch topics.
But in fact, I actually hated using Linux on his computer when I was at his house. It was just different to mine, and it didn't have Microsoft Office on it, instead having Open Office, which is an operating system transferable program but it doesn't have the same functions and took me ages to get used to it. We used to talk about why I still had Windows, when clearly it was a lot slower. But I stayed with Windows, because that's what I grew up with. It was what I was used to. It looked pretty and I could customise it.
But P never tried to make me use Linux. He'd never try and sway my opinion because I can be quite stubborn. But the more I thought about it, the more advantages I could see to it.
I mean, why do people use Windows? Because it's what they're used to. Why did P use Windows? So he could play computer games because the graphics are better. But I do not play them. All my computer usage relies on the Internet or saved stuff.
And you know how Blackberry got really big? Even though it used to be associated purely with business people? Well, there is potential for Linux. But it seems to be only popular with people well versed in computers and computer language. But it is such a small sector of the OS market because people do not realise that option is there.
Windows is good because lots of programs are designed for Windows use. It does seem to be getting better with each new OS. It's easy to use and you can play computer games. Many schools use it, so kids take it to it so easily. It is exceptionally user friendly. But you need antivirus software and you need to buy a lot of the programs as they don't come for free. And you have to go and buy it, or get a disc and install it.
Linux is better because it's free.. you can download it off the website for free, burn it on a CD and that's it. You just install something from a disc maybe once or twice a year. Everything is free to download, and even better, I have something (all Linux users have this) called Package Manager, which is a list of 1000000 (or a big number) of programs that you can install. So all I need to do is look at that list and see what I want. I don't need to get any discs or anything. AND it categorises it on my program list for me automatically.
There are NO viruses because the way Linux is written makes it very very difficult to write a virus. Windows was designed originally with holes, and even though they are being fixed, viruses can still get in. So I don't need to download anything to protect me from viruses. But in the offchance that something awry may happen, I have a security patch but have never needed to quarantine something.
Firefox, which apparently was designed for Linux users at the beginning, is the same. Everything works the same. A version of MSN, Firefox, all the google apps... everything looks the same. The biggest visual difference is that the "start" bar with all the things on it is at the top, like on a Mac.
There is huge scope for customisation. A laptop with Linux on it is substantially cheaper than one with Windows on it, because of the licence you "buy" along with the laptop. And it is hard to revoke that.
It looks a lot cleaner, you can have more than one desktop... i.e. you have your normal desktop but if you have too many things you can move it to another. Think of it like a cube. Your desktop is a cube, but you only use one face. But you can move things as you wish to the side or bottom or top with ease.
The philosophy is different. Microsoft's intent is to make money. Linux just shares free software. Like wikipedia sharing knowledge.
The version of Linux I use irons out bugs every six or seven months and comes out with a new update. How often does a new Windows OS come out and not fail? AND if I decide I do not like the new version, when I boot up my computer, all I do is select the old one from a menu that shows up everytime I switch it on. It's not easy to change back to the older version of Windows once you've installed the new one. And of course, programming and such things are way easier to do on Linux. YOU can make changes to Linux and tell them and they include it in their next update. Windows does not take much feedback from their users.
Linux is compatible with many Windows destined machines, like mine (except now I would like to remove the latter). But for those who are unsure, you can SPLIT your hard drive. Mine is something like 50:50. AND I can access and edit my Windows files on Linux. Simple.
Not being an Apple user (I don't own or use anything by Apple and I don't believe in anything they stand for... in fact you can google it yourself. I'm not linking their page), I am not sure about using Linux on Apple. But because Mac has their own OS and it's not very Windows compatible, I don't imagine it would be easy. They have their own machines with their own OS.
The main reasons why I use Linux is because it is so much quicker....don't need to load stupid programs upon start up... no viruses... everything's free.... But mostly the speed thing. I used to hate it when my Windows was slow. But now I can start up my computer from it being switched off in 30 seconds or less.
It's so sad that Linux is such a small share of the OS market, although figures may be underestimated, as Windows users must register their copy, but you don't need to do that for Linux. I wish more people knew about it, or gave it a chance. I hated it at first because it was different but it is so easy to pick up.
xo
P.S. No one made me write this, I don't know much about computers either. This is just how I feel.
But in fact, I actually hated using Linux on his computer when I was at his house. It was just different to mine, and it didn't have Microsoft Office on it, instead having Open Office, which is an operating system transferable program but it doesn't have the same functions and took me ages to get used to it. We used to talk about why I still had Windows, when clearly it was a lot slower. But I stayed with Windows, because that's what I grew up with. It was what I was used to. It looked pretty and I could customise it.
But P never tried to make me use Linux. He'd never try and sway my opinion because I can be quite stubborn. But the more I thought about it, the more advantages I could see to it.
I mean, why do people use Windows? Because it's what they're used to. Why did P use Windows? So he could play computer games because the graphics are better. But I do not play them. All my computer usage relies on the Internet or saved stuff.
And you know how Blackberry got really big? Even though it used to be associated purely with business people? Well, there is potential for Linux. But it seems to be only popular with people well versed in computers and computer language. But it is such a small sector of the OS market because people do not realise that option is there.
Windows is good because lots of programs are designed for Windows use. It does seem to be getting better with each new OS. It's easy to use and you can play computer games. Many schools use it, so kids take it to it so easily. It is exceptionally user friendly. But you need antivirus software and you need to buy a lot of the programs as they don't come for free. And you have to go and buy it, or get a disc and install it.
Linux is better because it's free.. you can download it off the website for free, burn it on a CD and that's it. You just install something from a disc maybe once or twice a year. Everything is free to download, and even better, I have something (all Linux users have this) called Package Manager, which is a list of 1000000 (or a big number) of programs that you can install. So all I need to do is look at that list and see what I want. I don't need to get any discs or anything. AND it categorises it on my program list for me automatically.
There are NO viruses because the way Linux is written makes it very very difficult to write a virus. Windows was designed originally with holes, and even though they are being fixed, viruses can still get in. So I don't need to download anything to protect me from viruses. But in the offchance that something awry may happen, I have a security patch but have never needed to quarantine something.
Firefox, which apparently was designed for Linux users at the beginning, is the same. Everything works the same. A version of MSN, Firefox, all the google apps... everything looks the same. The biggest visual difference is that the "start" bar with all the things on it is at the top, like on a Mac.
There is huge scope for customisation. A laptop with Linux on it is substantially cheaper than one with Windows on it, because of the licence you "buy" along with the laptop. And it is hard to revoke that.
It looks a lot cleaner, you can have more than one desktop... i.e. you have your normal desktop but if you have too many things you can move it to another. Think of it like a cube. Your desktop is a cube, but you only use one face. But you can move things as you wish to the side or bottom or top with ease.
The philosophy is different. Microsoft's intent is to make money. Linux just shares free software. Like wikipedia sharing knowledge.
The version of Linux I use irons out bugs every six or seven months and comes out with a new update. How often does a new Windows OS come out and not fail? AND if I decide I do not like the new version, when I boot up my computer, all I do is select the old one from a menu that shows up everytime I switch it on. It's not easy to change back to the older version of Windows once you've installed the new one. And of course, programming and such things are way easier to do on Linux. YOU can make changes to Linux and tell them and they include it in their next update. Windows does not take much feedback from their users.
Linux is compatible with many Windows destined machines, like mine (except now I would like to remove the latter). But for those who are unsure, you can SPLIT your hard drive. Mine is something like 50:50. AND I can access and edit my Windows files on Linux. Simple.
Not being an Apple user (I don't own or use anything by Apple and I don't believe in anything they stand for... in fact you can google it yourself. I'm not linking their page), I am not sure about using Linux on Apple. But because Mac has their own OS and it's not very Windows compatible, I don't imagine it would be easy. They have their own machines with their own OS.
The main reasons why I use Linux is because it is so much quicker....don't need to load stupid programs upon start up... no viruses... everything's free.... But mostly the speed thing. I used to hate it when my Windows was slow. But now I can start up my computer from it being switched off in 30 seconds or less.
It's so sad that Linux is such a small share of the OS market, although figures may be underestimated, as Windows users must register their copy, but you don't need to do that for Linux. I wish more people knew about it, or gave it a chance. I hated it at first because it was different but it is so easy to pick up.
xo
P.S. No one made me write this, I don't know much about computers either. This is just how I feel.
 |
| credit: googleimages |
Monday, September 28, 2009
the marriage state
From waking up, I forget my dreams rapidly, unless I try and hold onto their memory. All I can remember from this dream is that I was trying to contact a friend (X) on their phone, because I had recently heard that he wanted to get married, and I was trying to ring him on his actual wedding day. So the first time I called, he answered and said something like "where are the caterers?" and then I was like, "hello?" and he replied that he would call me back. And I was wandering around through this house, which had a lot of white furniture, like a house I once saw in another dream, it had white bannisters, and lots of white chests of drawers... there was a roof window thingy and it was sunny and it was very pretty. Anyway, then I became involved in some argument involving a younger kid overstepping their boundaries, quite what it was I do not remember.
And then I thought, fine, it's been a few hours, maybe X has gotten married now, so I rang back and instinctively knew who his new bride was, without any prior knowledge and without X's saying. So I wanted to know what was the sudden haste to get married and why did he not tell me? "Because I really love her" was his answer. And then I said," well, I'll say something generic like "when you know, you know""... and apparently, X had known her for a long time (in real life, they do know each other and I do not like the girl) and one day was making her dinner and suddenly "it clicked that [he] loved her".
And then I thought, fine, it's been a few hours, maybe X has gotten married now, so I rang back and instinctively knew who his new bride was, without any prior knowledge and without X's saying. So I wanted to know what was the sudden haste to get married and why did he not tell me? "Because I really love her" was his answer. And then I said," well, I'll say something generic like "when you know, you know""... and apparently, X had known her for a long time (in real life, they do know each other and I do not like the girl) and one day was making her dinner and suddenly "it clicked that [he] loved her".
- - -
So, what the moral of this dream is, I am very unsure. But maybe it just means I want to know if anyone has any big news.. and not be left in the dark. And that this person who got married in my dream is probably very unlikely to get married anytime soon, as he is a) a serial womaniser (or used to be), b) indecisive and c) fickle. Maybe it just means that I miss talking to this person.
Image from google images
Image from google images
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