gahhhhh

I had dinner an hour ago but now I feel sick.  I feel like if I go to lie down again, I'll feel rubbish tomorrow.  So I'm looking for stuff to buy for my birthday.  Thought I'd do another letter thing.


Day 2: your crush
To be honest, I don't think I have had a "crush" for ages... Okay okay.
Dear J, I dislike how we don't talk anymore, but that's not my fault.  I remember when we first met, like, 5 years ago, you told your friends you fancied me ( :s ) and then they decided to tell me.  Then, like, a year later we started talking again and you were hinting pretty strongly about your feelings towards me, and I guess I let myself get a bit caught up in the childish romance of it.  Yes I had a crush on you... Because your background was/is similar to mine, I think I identified with you a lot back then; we were similar, we used to talk a lot and flirt and have fun and it was all harmless.  We had two dates, it sort of fizzled out into friendship, we had a frank discussion, and then I made a wise mistake of being incredibly indecisive. (not in a bad way)
Looking back, I am 100% sure we would have been unsuited as at that time, I thought I wanted something casual, and you thought you wanted something very serious.  Turns out we each wanted the opposite of what we thought.  I went to visit you, and I still have those stars you made for me in my heart shaped box, which is filled with little mementos.  But you flaked out a lot more than I did.  I'd like to say I miss you... but I don't.


Cordially,
Carol




PS.  Please understand that I'm writing these letters as a form of catharsis, to get closure from certain things in the past, and to let them lie.  I am NOT a mean spirited person, I am NOT saying mean whatever anyone says.  I'm treating these as a psychological experiment type thing.